A Sin So Sweet
by DevilinaCardigan
Summary: “Good,” he replied just as quickly, eyes darting from her eyes, to her mouth, to the hand at her wrist. He hadn’t had enough time or light to really look at her last night, to memorize her. See how she’d changed in his absence, “You?” *Complete* *AU*
1. Part One

_Author's Note__: This fic is AU and All Human. If you're looking for writing that's perfectly in character and contains precise canon you've come to the wrong place. I'm more interested in putting them in new and interesting situations to see how they'll react. I would classify this as Hurt/Comfort as well as Romance and Drama so be aware of that. Otherwise, I hope everyone reads, enjoys and replies!_

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**A Sin So Sweet**

**Part One**

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Maxwell Evans… Guerin, which ever sur-name he was using this week, glanced at the brunette seated in between two blondes: One lithe, one indistinctly familiar; at the corner most table before quickly looking away. He felt his pulse speeding up a little, his breathing becoming shallow, his palms becoming slightly sweaty but when he signaled the bartender to bring another and politely spurned the drunken advances of the woman next to him, no one would have believed he was feeling much of anything at all.

He'd learned a long time ago that emotions were a luxury that he couldn't afford. That they could be used against you. He shook off the feelings that those thoughts brought and Instead of going down that long dark road again, he pulled his glass of Jack toward himself like one would a warm cup of cocoa on a chilly night.

He wondered vaguely, as he nursed his drink, if he were to go up to her now, with his shaggy hair, his dirty white Tee and worn blue jeans, if she would know who he was. If she'd sneer at him tell him to get away from her table? Smile with surprise, introduce him to her friends and ask him what he was doing now. All while trying not to glance at her wristwatch before leaving and forgetting she'd seen him at all by the time she woke up the next day?

Then again, he thought slowly, maybe she would be…pleasantly surprised to see him. Ask him to sit with her group of friends and regal them with funny stories about their shared youth in Roswell, New Mexico. Maybe she would still smile easy, still be the shy girl he last saw 9 ½ years ago. Invite him up to her room for a night cap, let him unbutton that silk red shirt, roll down those black stalking's.

He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath to try and clear his mind. None of those scenarios would be playing out because he was not going over to that table. Their break had been horrific, but it had been clean and he planned to keep it that way. For his own sanity more than hers. He put down the drink, that was now more water than Jack, before throwing a few dollars onto the bar and pulling on his black hoodie. He stood up and walked out of the pub without a backwards glance, no matter how much he wanted to look at her one last time.

-0-

Elizabeth Parker tried to discreetly tug down the hem of her black pencil skirt, as she laughed at her friend Maria's joke, "I mean, come on now, the guys a perv. I heard they found so much porn on his company computer they just trashed it and got a new one."

Liz rolled her eyes and thought about telling Maria how awful it was to spread unsubstantiated gossip but found herself laughing and swallowing the last of her second kamikaze of the night instead.

"Allegedly," she went with in its place, adding a giggle. "There's no proof any of that's true."

Maria waved it off, taking a bite of the garnish for her appletini, "Who needs proof when you got delicious rumors?"

They both laughed out loud and Liz glanced at the woman to her left. She'd sipped her water and hadn't laughed at any of 'Ria's naughty anecdotes all night long. The brunette straitened her collar and sat up wishing she hadn't invited Tess Harding along at the last moment. The woman was really putting a harsh on her buzz. Liz sighed at that thought and decided she wouldn't be drinking anymore that night. If the phrase, 'harshing my buzz' had made its way into her lexicon, she was well and truly on her way to drunkenness.

She massaged her temple and glanced at her watch, 3:20 A.M. "I think we should break this up guys."

"Noooooo!," Maria whined, looking at Liz with pathetic eyes.

"This is your promotion celebration, we've gotta stay out until the sun comes up! You know you never want to go out normally so let's have fun tonight!"

She smiled sympathetically, "That would be wonderful if we all didn't have to go to work tomorrow, we've all already drank too much anyway."

"I haven't," Tess interrupted; speaking for the first time since they'd sat down an hour and half ago, "going into work hung over is unprofessional."

Liz and Maria turned toward to one another in shock before bursting out into another fit of giggles. She was right of course, it was unprofessional, but what a stuck up bitchy thing to say to a girl out celebrating becoming one inch closer to her lifelong dream.

Pfizer had just promoted her to supervising laboratory technician for a section of their New York based labs. It wasn't much more glamorous than her former job of laboratory Technician, it was pretty much the same job actually with added responsibility and only 250 extra dollars a month but every penny extra in New York City was worth the work. Besides, this job would look good in her résumé when she decided to try and move up after she finished her doctorate.

Liz nodded to herself quietly, and glanced up to take in the people around her, she was going places. So what if she never went out and partied with Maria because she always had so much paper work? So what if she'd been in the city for two years and had never been to the Met or anywhere else really that wasn't in Harlem, where she lived, or at her job?

She was climbing the corporate ladder, had her good friend 'Ria and then there was James Davis. She smiled softly at the thought of him. He also worked at Pfizer, but whereas she was in research and development, he worked on the law side. He was a smart, 5'11," red head who had charmed her into a date a year and half ago and hadn't left her side since.

Unlike…

She cut the sudden notion off with a frown. Thoughts of the unpleasantness that had occurred over nine years ago were, blessedly, infrequent. She'd moved on with her life since then, even coming to not only sort of understand why he had done it, but be almost thankful for it. Everything he had told her that day had been true, her 17 year old self just hadn't been ready to hear it.

Liz placed her elbow on the table, laid her face in her palm and closed her eyes, allowing herself to think of a countenance she'd spent years trying to forget. Olive complexion, soft full lips, dark hair that curled ever so slightly at the edges when he went too long without a cut. She felt a shiver trill through her body and welcomed it. Later, she would blame the alcohol for her thoughts and promptly forget she had ever thought of him that night at all, but right now, she indulged herself.

She thought that if she were to see him today he would have filled out some. His jaw would be more square, he would have lost the baby softness every 17 year old still carried around on their bodies no matter how much they worked out or how old their minds were. She imagined greeting him politely yet coolly. Introducing him to James, telling him about their wonderful jobs and their wonderful lives and how much they loved one another.

She'd show him her fabulous apartment and let him see how much better her life had turned out without him in it. She'd be wearing her red satin corset dress of course. The one Maria had talked her into buying 5 years ago that was still hanging up in her closet with the tags attached. The one that ended at the knee but had a side slit up to her mid-thigh.

She would walk around and watch him watching that slit before leading him to the door and slamming it in his pathetic face. Her features did something then one could call a smile but looked more like a sneer. The fantasy was cruel, it was petty, it was beneath her but it also made her feel good and tonight, she wasn't apologizing for anything that made her feel good.

Liz could sense her two drinks continuing to work their magic and languidly watched a man in a black hoodie exit the bar before looking down at her watch again and moving to stand up.

"Come on girls, time to go home."

Maria grumbled but stood and Tess was already pulling on her coat and throwing down a tip.

"Well girls," she remarked casually, already moving away. "It's been…a time I guess," and with a shrug left the bar. Liz watched after her.

"Don't ever invite that bitch out with us again," Maria said with a curled lip.

"I know, but we were both leaving at the same time and…I thought she might be fun."

"Well now you know she isn't," the blonde commented as they both made their way out onto the curb.

"We're taking a cab. It's too late to go on the subway."

She hated spending the money but knew that Maria was right. Catching the subway at 3:40 A.M. was too dangerous. She watched her hail one and they both jumped inside giving their addresses to the driver.

-0-

Liz fell through her apartment door at 4:10 and, as only happens when you're trying to be quiet, immediately crashed into a side table and stubbed her toe.

"Fuck!," she muttered under her breath and stood still for a moment, nursing her wound, before she pulled off her black open toes and shoved them under the couch.

Moving towards the bedroom, she pulled off the dress and grabbed an old t-shirt before going in the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Under the harsh glare of the single naked bulb, she washed her face, slipped on her night clothes and pulled her hair back into a sloppy ponytail. Leaning against the sink, the brunette stared at her face in the mirror, she looked a little worn but still pretty and she definitely wasn't feeling at all sleepy.

Liz sighed and made her way out of the room, turning off the light behind her and wondering whether she should lie down anyway or go into the front and do some work.

"Have fun baby?"

Liz clutched her heart with a start at the sound of his voice, but was able to contain a yelp of surprise.

"You scared me!"

He pushed the blankets away and stretched, "Sorry. I heard your drunken entrance a few minutes ago and I haven't been able to get back to sleep," he replied with a scratchy voice.

Liz let her eyes drift over what little of the lean boxer clad body that was visible with only moonlight and slowly made her way to the edge of the bed to sit. She looked down into his hooded green eyes and felt her heart begin to beat faster.

He looked back up at her with a slightly nervous smile, "What is it?"

"I don't get any on my special day?," she asked innocently.

The grin flattened out and he swallowed, "You can have it whenever you say the word," he replied quietly, beguiled by this new attitude, "What happened to you tonight?," he whispered.

The sensual lightness she'd been feeling a moment before dried up at those words and she pulled back, "Nothing. Why?"

He sat up quickly and grabbed her forearms to keep her from moving away, "Nothing," he replied, trying to relax her again. "You just usually never…ask for it. I generally initiate."

When she started to try and pull away again he held on gently, "There's nothing wrong with that, I like it. It's just different is all."

His words calmed her and she leisurely leaned into him, "So I can have it whenever I say the word," she whispered into his neck. He started running his hand up and down her back slowly and she felt his pulse kick up at her words.

"Yes."

Liz crawled up onto the bed and threw her knee over his legs, "Well I'm saying the word," and with that, she pulled him in for a kiss.

-0-

Max sat on his couch in the dark and contemplated calling his best friend Michael Evans. It had been two weeks since they'd spoken and he knew Michael worried but he couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone right now, maybe tomorrow. He contemplated turning on the TV, doing some work, cooking and going to sleep before deciding not to do any of those things and just continued to stare into space. She'd been right there, after all these years, she'd been sitting across the room from him and

he'd chickened out.

Max had no illusions that they could be friends, but he did want to tell her sorry about what went down between them, tell her sorry for breaking her heart but he'd broken his own too and…he stopped that train of thought abruptly by using two fingers on his right hand to give the webbing on his left a vicious pinch.

An old trick compliments of Hank.

"Stop it Maxwell," he spoke to himself quietly, "It was for the best and you know it. She looked happy tonight and you showing her your face wouldn't have pleased her no matter how much you hope that it would have!"

With that thought he felt the tendrils of a long thought dead emotion twisting its way though his gut, strangling his heart, clogging his throat, stinging the backs of his eyes.

"It was for the best," he said out loud, trying to prevent what was about to happen, trying to comfort himself with the sound of his own voice, "It was for the best. You'll be fine tomorrow."

He closed his eyes and let himself fall in a ritual he hadn't used since he was 17. Max Guerin, because that's the Max he was at the moment, pulled his feet up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them tightly, resting his forehead against them.

"It's okay," he muttered, suddenly tasting salt water on his lips, "it's okay…"


	2. Part Two

**Part Two**

**Roswell New Mexico: 10 years prior**

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"You weren't in class today," Liz said quietly, going for casual and not quite making it. To cover, she rubbed her hand across her blue jeans, kicked at a knot of sand and used her left forearm to wipe away the sweat on her face before sighing. Even though she'd made sure to walk up ever so quietly behind his seated frame, Max didn't startle at the sound of her voice. This fact both miffed and pleased her.

"How do you know?" He responded, while using a stick to poke around in the sand beneath his tattered lawn chair.

"I was there. I didn't see you."

"Well" he replied while finally turning to face her, "I guess you're right then. I wasn't there."

She took in the black eye and split lip passively, when he got in this mood, the best thing for everyone was to ignore the bait.

"You know they're gonna fail you if you keep not showing up?"

He shrugged non-committedly and turned back the other way.

The brunette looked at his back for a moment before starting to walk toward him and slowly putting her hand on his shoulder, "Happy birthday, birthday boy."

He flinched a little at that and she grinned knowingly.

"How does it feel to turn 17?"

"The same as it did to turn 16," he said, still looking at the ground in front of him.

Trying to shock him out of his funk, she rounded the chair quickly and plopped down into his blue jean clad lap with her arm thrown across his shoulders. Max turned around towards her with a shocked look and she grinned even broader, another small victory.

"I have a present for you," she said for his ears only, suddenly thinking about his father and not wanting Mr. Guerin to hear their conversation if he was home.

He searched her face for a moment before turning his upper body into hers and throwing his free arm across her legs. Liz took a deep breath before releasing it, even beat up, he was still gorgeous. They sat together for a moment longer in silence as she watched him watch her. Saw his eyes darken, become hooded, watched his mouth part and thought about letting him do what it looked like he wanted to do.

She wanted to, had wanted to for a while actually, but when she thought about his black eye, his split lip, his family life…he needed a friend more than he needed a girlfriend and sex would only add complications to an already complicated life.

He was moving towards her slowly, giving her time to take an out and she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, "That's not your present."

He pulled back and smiled, "No?"

She shook her head with a laugh, "No."

"Cause I thought I was getting some signals," he continued.

"Well you weren't."

His smile softened as he looked at her, "Cause of Kyle."

"No, because of Pam," she replied flippantly.

His eyes narrowed in confusion, "I don't date her."

"I don't date him; he's just a nice guy I know."

"He's your friend," he asked sarcastically.

"Yes."

"Like we're friends?"

"No," she replied seriously, "none of my other friends are like you."

Without waiting for a reply, she got off of his lap, reached into her backpack and threw him his gift.

"Open it."

He stared at her for a second before looking down at the present and starting to unwrap it.

"You know it's not Christmas right?" he asked with a smirk referring to the reindeer decorating the paper.

"Yeah but you'll take what you can get."

That got a laugh from him as he took the item out and looked at it.

"I saw you reading one of his books in the library once," she said quickly suddenly nervous.

She watched him turn the hard back of Steinbeck's _Cup Of Gold_ over with a smile.

"You didn't have to get me anything," he said quietly. "I know you're saving for school."

She waved that thought off with the flick of a hand, "It was on sale because it's his first novel and nobody thinks it's very good. He wrote it before he found his voice; it's about a pirate or something."

She smiled broadly suddenly, "You'll never guess the price."

He set the book on his lap and Liz glanced at his torn knuckles before looking away.

"20 bucks."

"10 dollars. You'll never beat that books quality or price," she said smugly with hands firmly planted on waist. "Do you concede?"

"Never," he replied confidently, "I've got two months to look for something better and cheaper than 10.00. I think I can find it."

She shrugged, "You sure can try."

Liz watched him look over the book in happiness while she decided the best way to phrase her next question so he wouldn't get all moody. With Max though, strait up was always the best way to go.

"Where's Mr. Guerin?"

The grin slipped from his face but he never looked away from the novel, "He might be home in an hour, he might not come back at all. I don't keep tabs on him."

"You should come back with me," she said quietly.

He looked up sharply with narrowed eyes at that statement.

"Calm down," she replied, "You're not a baby. I'm not trying to take care of …"

"Good," he cut in, "I don't need protection."

"I can see that," she responded solemnly, making sure he saw her looking at his knuckles.

Max slid his hands into his pockets and out of her sight, "Yeah well, I'm not 7 anymore. I can give as good as I get."

Looking at him now, with his chin in the air, and his bruised face and the pain he tried so hard to hide that she could see so clearly…seeing him at this moment made her want to cry but she held back. Now wasn't the time to get into that old conversation of him getting out. Today was his birthday and she was going to show him a good time even if she had to guilt him into it.

"Jesus Max," she said, trying to steer the conversation in another direction. "I just wanted you to come over because my parents are going to be out really late tonight and I don't like being there alone," she made sure to add a slight whine to the end of the sentence even though it killed her. She hated acting this way, Liz was a smart capable woman, but the house _was_ kinda scary when empty at night and if it got her some company and him away from his father, she'd whine a little.

"You never mentioned that before," he said suspiciously.

"Well Maria usually comes to stay with me but she's got a huge paper due and I don't want to bother her."

"Who?"

It took her a second to figure out his question before she answered, "Maria, a friend of mine who would probably be a friend of yours if you ever showed up to school."

She could see him wavering and moved in for the kill, "I thought we could bake you a birthday cake and watch a movie. It'll be fun." She stopped for a moment and pushed all of the truth she could muster into her next words, "That house is really creepy at night. I'd rather not be alone."

He looked up at her with a sigh and watched her smile, "Fine. How did you get here?"

"I caught the bus halfway and walked the rest."

She watched him stand up, walk to her backpack, throw the book inside and sling it onto his back, "Well let's…"

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**Present Day**

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Liz's eyes opened slowly and blinked against the harsh morning light streaming in through her open window. As much as she loved James, his habit of opening all the curtains in the house when he got up was really starting to piss her off.

She must have made some sort of noise because he peeked at her from around the corner with a big smile, "Rise and shine baby," he glanced at his watch, "You've gotta be at work in 3 hours." He raised his arms and gave two sharp claps, "Chop! Chop!," before his head disappeared again.

She grimaced as she climbed out of her warm cocoon and threw on her robe. That 'Chop! Chop!' was another thing she could live without. She went into the bathroom and took a shower, brushed her teeth, blow dried her hair and applied a modest amount of make-up before putting her robe back on and exiting the room to see what smelled so good.

James turned at her entrance gave her a peck good morning, "Got time for bacon and eggs?"

She looked over her shoulder to the clock, 8:00. She had to be on the subway by 8:45 but if he'd taken time to cook it, she'd take time to sit ad eat some of it.

"Let me get dressed first."

He nodded absently, already back to watching the stove as she made her way to the closet and put on a pinstriped grey skirt, white blouse, and modest but still nice black pumps with the mandatory pair of stalking's. Today, she decided to go with nude.

"That was quick," he said sparing her a glance. "I don't think you've ever gotten ready for work in only 15 minutes."

"Well I wanted to be able to sit with you for a while."

He smiled at that and took the last of the bacon out of the pan.

"Go sit down and bring this with you," he mumbled, shoving the plate in her direction and moving toward the sink with the dirty pan.

She took a seat and waited until he was across from her to make a plate.

"Thank you breakfast James," she said with the small smile.

"You're welcome. You know I like to cook."

She nodded and took a bite of bacon when he spoke up again.

"_Good," he cut in, "I don't need protection."_

She barely held onto her fork and licked her lips slowly as the night's dream suddenly came flooding back into her consciousness.

"…work this week."

The brunette shook her head and looked up to see James looking at her from across the table with concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said, quickly getting up and grabbing her purse.

"What's…"

"Nothing. I'm going to be late," she murmured while leaning over the table and kissing his cheek. "Gotta go."

-0-

Max walked up to the front desk of the Pfizer complex and waited for the cute blonde working behind the desk to notice him. He rubbed his eyes and thought about getting another cup of coffee before starting work when he looked up to see her looking at him with a wide eyed expression. He smiled cockily and leaned forward, "I'm from Ever Green Landscape architects. We're supposed to be redoing the courtyard today and we need to know if we're clear to start now."

When she kept just looking and not speaking, Max reassessed her face and thought he saw less of her being shocked at how good looking he was and more like she'd seen a ghost. He studied her for a moment more and actually thought she looked slightly familiar.

"Do I know you?"

The blond opened mouth like she wanted to say something but turned away quickly instead, having thought better of it.

"No sir, I don't think we've ever met."

He thought she was lying but decided not to push it. She was probably just some girl he'd met in a club, maybe taken home with him, and she'd rather not relive it. To be honest, he'd rather not either.

"Mr. Cutter said feel free to start whenever you'd like. Just tape off the portions you're working."

He nodded and made his way out of the building into its center courtyard with the front desk girl watching his every step.

-0-

Liz answered the phone distracted by the stack of forms that had appeared on her desk between 8.00 A.M. and now, "Elizabeth Parkers office."

"Liz!"

She narrowed her eyes at Maria's hushed voice, "You're not supposed to be using the phone at the front desk and I'm busy…"

"I know," she replied, "You need to meet me for lunch."

"Uhhh 'Ria, I have too much work. I'm gonna…"

"Come to lunch with me," she interrupted.

Liz put the piece of paper whose writing she was trying to decipher down and listened.

"What's going on?," she asked, voice lowered and serious.

"Ahh," Maria replied, "Now you want to hear what I have to say."

"Yes," the brunette of the pair replied impatiently.

"Well meet me at the McDonalds on the corner in 20 minutes."

With that she hung up.

"Maria!," Liz whisper screamed into the phone even though she could hear the dial tone.

She looked around, frazzled by all the work that needed to be done that wasn't, the memory that had come to her in a dream from nowhere last night and now by the sound of Maria's voice in that call. She kneaded her temple for a moment before getting up, shoving her cell phone into her lab coats pocket and making her way down to the first floor of the building to the front desk. She looked around anxiously for a sign of her friend when a man working out in the courtyard caught her attention.

Olive complexion, soft full lips, dark hair that was curled ever so slightly at the edges because he'd gone too long without a cut.

Her hand floated up towards her face of its own volition as she openly stared at a man she hadn't seen since she was 17. The man who broke her heart. She was breathing hard, too hard. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she just wanted to turn around and go back upstairs. Pretend that the last 10 minutes had never happened and go on with life as usual but she was already at the door, then she was through it and standing right behind him.

This was it.

The moment she'd been waiting for. The idea of running off to get that red corset dress flitted through her mind briefly and disappeared before becoming fully formed.

"Hello Max," she said quietly, so low in fact that she thought he may not have heard had it not been for the fact that he suddenly went very still.

She heard him breath deep before watching him drop his shovel and turn toward her slowly.

"Hey Liz."


	3. Part Three

_It is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place. – __Washington Irving_

**Part Three**

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They looked at each other for a moment without speaking before she looked away again.

"How have you been?" she asked nervously, tugging at the cuff of her shirt sleeve and trying to keep all the emotions she was feeling from bubbling to the surface. She wanted to hit him, scream at him, ask him why he'd left her when they'd both vowed to never do such a thing.

She took a deep breath instead.

"Good," he replied just as quickly, eyes darting from her eyes, to her mouth, to the hand at her wrist. He hadn't had enough time or light to really look at her last night, to memorize her. See how she'd changed in his absence, "You?"

"Good."

She smiled lightly and watched him return the gesture.

"Well," she said, looking around for a clock that wasn't there and moving back towards the door, "I have to go. It was nice seeing you again."

He opened his mouth but Liz was gone before he could reply.

-0-

She walked through the lobby, out the front door, down the street and into McDonald's in the haze before spotting Maria and sitting down.

"Where have you been," the blond asked before popping a fry into her mouth, "I've been waiting for like 5 minutes."

Liz sighed, "I got a bit side tracked."

"Well I only have about 20 minutes left for lunch but there's something I've got to tell you."

Liz looked at her with a blank face, already knowing what she was going to say but wanting to hear it anyway. Needing someone else to say it, to make it real, "What?"

Maria started twirling the end of one long lock anxiously, "You remember that guy you were," she furrowed her brow, "…friends with in high school?"

She nodded slightly and glanced out the window, "That's what side tracked me."

She turned back towards her friend and took in her surprised look, "I ran into him in the lobby."

The blond leaned in quickly and lowered her voice, "What happened?"

Liz leaned back and looked away before shrugging nonchalantly, "Nothing. We said hello then I left to come and meet you."

There was silence for a moment, "Nothing?"

She looked back at Maria, starting to get a little annoyed, "That's what I said."

She put her hands up and leaned away from her companion, "Well you two had something serious going on back then and then when he…," at Liz's sharp look she stopped.

"Look," she picked up quietly, "What happened between you two? There was something going on but you never really went into detail with me…"

"We were friends," she interrupted, no longer upset just tired.

"You know how sometimes you meet someone and they get you right from the beginning?"

Maria nodded.

"Well that's what it was like. We never," she stopped and thought before continuing, "It wasn't really like _that_ between us."

Liz's friend sat back, "Well you're alright then?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

When it looked as though Maria was going to remark Liz leaned toward her and quickly spoke up, "Let's talk about your gig tonight."

The blond lit up like a candle and Liz smiled. She loved Maria, and she knew she loved her, but there was nothing the girl liked more than talking about her budding musical career.

"You're going to be there right?"

"Of course."

"You remember where it is?"

"Yes," Liz remarked with a smile; happy to see her friend so happy.

"You and James…"

"Hold on," she interrupted, "You know James doesn't do the club scene."

"Oh yeah," Maria replied slowly with faux surprise and Liz knew then she' been led right into a trap.

"He didn't even come to your promotion party."

"You know he took me to a very nice lunch inste…"

"He's a nice person but there's something up with h…"

"Because he hates clubbing?," they spoke over one another.

Maria shook her head, "It's not that exactly but I feel like there's something off with him."

"He's a nice guy."

"I know," she conceded.

"And I love him," Liz continued. Talking slowly so maybe this time her friend would understand that she didn't like having this conversation time and time again.

"And I'm happy about that. I just think you two don't really fit well together but," she said loudly when Liz started to intervene, "It's none of my business."

"Right."

"So I'll stay out of it."

They looked across the table at each other for a tense moment before Liz softened and smiled, "eleven right?"

"Yes," she responded while standing and gathering her trash onto a tray, "I gotta get back to work and I'll see you tonight chica."

Liz didn't turn to watch her walk out the door.

* * *

**Roswell, New Mexico: 10 ½ years prior**

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He looked at her and felt his body tighten up.

"Come here," she repeated. Her voice was slightly deeper than normal, slower. He imagined that if molasses could talk, it would sound like that.

Everything in him wanted to move forward, take what he'd wanted her to offer for years but his feet wouldn't move. He stared across the Crash Down's employee lobby at her with desire and trepidation warring within.

Right now, fear had the edge.

It must have shown on his face because she was standing right in front of him before he had a chance to try and move away. Then she was pulling off her antennae and the rubber band holding her hair and he could smell the vanilla of her shampoo and the apples in her Be Delicious perfume and his head was swimming so he backed up only to be stopped by the wall.

She moved in closer with a smirk on her face, "You don't want it? You did the other day."

And he did today too, but the difference then had been his surety that she'd refuse him, just as she always did. The truth was he felt safe in her rejection. He'd make a play, she'd deny him and he'd go home to jerk off pathetically but still feel good about himself because, hey, at least he'd tried. She was the one saying no.

Only now she wasn't and he didn't feel quite so safe anymore.

This was different than making out with Pam in the back of her Corolla. This was Liz, his best friend. The person who knew all of the dirty and embarrassing and ugly things about him, the only person he trusted. The only person he'd ever loved that actually loved him back.

She put her hands against his chest, closed her eyes and went up on tippy toes. "Kiss me."

He looked down at her face and imagined actually going for it. Considered not letting the idea of a bad outcome stop him when it came to her for once but, for better or worse, he knew himself. He knew how he got about her, even now when the most they'd shared was a hug. He couldn't predict how he would react if they became more and the thought scared him.

If she saw all of him: how insecure he felt, how angry he got, how much he held onto her even though he pretended not to. If she knew how sometimes he couldn't breathe when he thought about how much he loved her, would she be scared away? The thought of all they could be tempted him but the knowledge of all they could lose kept him at bay.

She opened her eyes and looked at his face before stepping back and giving him some space. He watched the smile falter and, for the first time, could see her own fear peeking out from behind her bravado.

"You don't have to worry about us Max," she said slowly, voice faltering.

" You'll always be my best friend, I just…" she shook her head, searching for words.

"Sometimes just _feeling_ it isn't en…"

He stepped forward quickly, no longer afraid because he now knew he wasn't the only one questioning this, and pulled her to him, "I know _exactly_ how you feel."

With that last thought, he licked his, brushed her hair back from her face and…

* * *

**Present Day**

**

* * *

**

Max was startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder and was greeted by Alex Whitman's smiling face when he came back to the present.

"Where are you dude?," he asked, "Your phone's rung like 3 times."

He glanced down to see whose call he'd missed and tried to decide whether he wanted to deal with Michael or not when it vibrated again. He hesitated only a moment before picking it up without looking at the I.D.

"Hey."

"What's up Max?," Eliza asked.

He sighed, surprised to hear her voice, "Nothing really," he replied quietly, "Just on my lunch break. What's up with you?"

"Well," she dragged the word out and he knew he was going to be asked a favor but instead of feeling put out, he smiled slightly.

"What is it?"

"There's this singer I like whose performing tonight in Manhattan and I want to go see her but I don't wanna go by myself. I know you have work but I love her and I'll buy you a drink for your trouble," she continued quickly, trying to entice him.

His smile grew as he pictured her: blond hair, green eyes, willowy and tall, "That's all I'll get for my trouble?"

He could hear her smile through the phone with her reply. "We'll see how I feel when we get there. You're coming then?"

"Why not," he shrugged even though she couldn't see. They'd met in a bar 2 months ago and instead of ending the way his one night affairs usually did, he'd actually called the number she'd given him and brought her out to eat later the next day. They'd been…friends ever since, though he'd kept her at arm's length. He looked into the building and felt the smile slipping from his mouth as he saw Liz re-enter the lobby and look into the courtyard pensively.

He tensed up with focus and stared at her, not only fighting the urge he had to duck her gaze, then quit this job and move out of New York. But he also wanted to walk up to her, say sorry, that he'd always loved her and always would but neither of those were practical responses as Dr. Culling would say.

He could even hear the older man's voice in his head telling him to stay calm, count backwards from 10 in his mind and think logically. He couldn't walk up to someone he hadn't seen in 10 years professing his undying love, she'd think he was a nut and he'd probably get arrested. She hadn't seemed that excited when they'd spoken earlier either.

He also couldn't quit because this was where his life was now. He had an apartment, was enrolled in NYU and had responsibilities here. He couldn't just shrug them off. Even as he was telling himself these things, knowing they were obvious, he was unconsciously wringing his hands and staring at the petite brunette not a hundred feet away from him.

He closed his eyes and focused on taking deep breathes, in and out, in and out, until his heart slowed down, until he felt normal again.

When he opened them again Liz was gone. He stared at the spot he'd last seen her before raising the phone back up to his ear.

"…ello?"

"Sorry," he said quickly, "I zoned out for a minute. Do you want to meet there or go together?"

He could hear her hesitate before going on, "We can meet there if you'd like, are you okay?," she continued softly, confused by the abrupt change in his demeanor, "You sound different."

"I'm fine," he said quickly, "I was just out of it for a second."

He knew he was sending her mixed signals. Sleeping with her but never staying the night, running alternately hot and cold, flirting one moment and being distant the next. He wanted to stop, but found that he couldn't.

"You sure," she asked cautiously.

"I'll see you tonight," he replied instead of answering her question and hung up before she could ask again.


	4. Part Four

**Part Four**

**Roswell, New Mexico: 10 years prior**

**

* * *

**

Liz sat on her mother and step-father's newly upholstered cream sofa with her hands folded at her lap and her back ram rod strait. The only thing they hated more than anything less than an A+, was a girl with bad posture. She slyly looked at the time on the clock, 2:30, before sighing and hoping that they were through with their chat before she was set to meet Max.

Her Mother sat across from her with a look she couldn't quite decipher and her legs crossed.

"This is going to be painful for you but I want you to know Paul and I will be here."

Liz's eyes narrowed in apprehension, "What's happened?"

"Jeff's dead honey."

Liz looked at her blankly for a moment, "Jeff who?," she asked quietly though the answer was already beginning to dawn on her. "My _father_ Jeff?"

The fine boned red head looked at her sympathetically. "Yes."

She stared at Nancy before looking down at her fingernails. She had the urge to start gnawing on them but stopped herself; that was another habit her mother and step-father would not approve of. Instead, she tried to grab hold of the snatches of memory she retained of him from before the affairs, before he went away, before…

"How did it happen?"

"Car wreck. He was driving and …"

…his accident.

She closed her eyes and took deep breathes as long forgotten recollections of when he'd made her chocolate chip pancakes on her birthday and let her stay home from school, when she used to love the smell of cooking oil and cigarettes because of how they had always clung to him, when his hair always hung in his eyes, how when he said 'I love you' she had no doubt as to his sincerity.

She recalled, then, how he'd begun to change around her 4th year of school. Started not showing up to her soccer games, began to not come home at all, their subsequent divorce and his starting a new family. She remembered how those were the first years she'd ever seen her mother cry and how much she'd hated him and her eyes opened at the sudden sobs being wrenched from her throat.

Nancy walked toward her daughter and gently touched the side of her face, "my little girl," she whispered.

Liz couldn't remember the last time her mother had touched her like this, tried to comfort her, so when it was offered she relished leaning into her touch.

"Mama…"

The red head pulled out of her grasp quickly and watched Liz uncomfortably before glancing at the clock. "I have to go and meet Paul for a work thing. I'll see you later tonight honey.

Nancy leaned forward to peck her on the cheek softly, cool demeanor once again in place, "I know you're hurting but your Harvard interview is coming up faster than what you realize so please study those questions I printed out for you."

With that she walked out of the apartment and left the girl alone with her grief.

-0-

"You're late," he said when she finally made her way to the trailer.

"I know," she replied, looking everywhere but at his face, "I lost track of time."

He watched her plop down in the ragged lawn chair next to his with suspicion, "What's going on?"

She looked at him with a slight smile and a perfectly pleasant demeanor that he didn't seem to be buying for a second, "Nothing, you?"

He narrowed his eyes and stared at her until she looked away. One thing Liz really hated about Max was his ability to see right through her when anyone would have just taken her at her word.

"Why are you looking at me like that."

"I'm just waiting for you to stop lying to me is all."

"I'm not."

"I already know you are so just say you don't want to talk about it or tell me what's going on but don't try and act like I don't know."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't feel like it," she replied with a sigh, trying to brace for his reaction to the knowledge that she was keeping apart of herself away from him. Sometimes his possessiveness gave her pause but never enough to end the relationship. She never thought for a moment that he'd ever put his hands on her.

More than that though, he needed her, and she liked being needed by someone.

She watched his face start to flush before he took a deep breath, "Fine," he said, "Let's go watch T.V."

He was up and through the door before she could figure out what just happened. He hadn't reacted the way she'd expected him to. Liz got up and followed him into the trailer and down the hall to his room before watching from the threshold.

He looked at her from his seated position at the head of the bed with exasperation. "Are you going to come in or stand in the door all day?"

She rolled her eyes but walked forward and lay across the foot of his bed anyway, looking at his 20" T.V, "why don't we ever do this by my house, I have cable?"

"You're parents are always there and you know your mom hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. She just worries about me."

"Why?"

She looked at him, "because you've been arrested like ten times."

"Six," he corrected with a smile. "I've only been arrested six times."

"Oh," she replied returning his smile and starting to settle in, "I'll have to correct her next time she questions me on why I'm hanging out with a delinquent."

"Be sure and do that," he said casually while flipping through the 12 channels available to him.

She felt herself drifting to sleep when a shove to the shoulder brought her back to full consciousness, "what," she asked grumpily.

"Why are you always going to sleep over here? You could've stayed home if you wanted to do that."

She rolled onto her back and stretched, "I don't really sleep at night. I've been meaning to go to my doctor and maybe get something for insomnia."

"Well you should do that. Don't sleep on my time," he said with a small pout that she found incredibly adorable and if he knew he was doing it he would immediately stop so she just shrugged.

"I just feel comfortable here I guess. I'm always thinking about something when I'm at home. I'm either worried about you or my mom and Paul and what's going on with them and what they're going to think about...whatever's going in my life at that time."

She stopped and thought for a moment. "I don't worry about all that stuff when I'm with you. I know nothings happened to you because you're with me and my parents are the furthest things from my mind. It's like, I can settle down for a second."

When he didn't reply, she let her head fall to the side and took in the look on his face. It wasn't nonchalant or smiling or angry; it was, for lack of a better description, filled with astonishment. She laughed nervously and hit him on the knee to break the moment,

"Why are you looking like that?"

He began to speak then thought better of it before shaking his head. "Like what?"

Before she could reply he spoke over her, "I woke you because that movie about the little girl in the mortuary is on and I know you used to love it."

She was up and sitting next to him with her back against the headboard before he was through with his explanation. "Why did you wait so long to tell me that?"

When he tied to say something else she shushed him and let herself fall into the life of an 11 year old girl. She watched Vada suffer under her loving but distant fathers neglect and come to terms with a new parental figure but when she watched her curl up on the stain left by her mother's pumpkin, she raised her knees up and laid her face against them, trying to muffle her sudden tears.

Max elbowed her teasingly. "You're not crying over this are you?"

She didn't look up or acknowledge his jibe. He touched her again, more gently, after a moment.

"What's going on Liz?"

She shook her head, trying to get herself under control. After all the years they'd known one another and all the things they'd been through, he'd never seen her cry, not over anything more serious than a Hallmark commercial, and she wasn't anxious to change that.

He moved closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Yes, something is wrong," he was quiet before continuing. "Let me help you."

She wanted to shake him off and leave the house, but threw her arms around him and buried her face into his neck instead. She felt him put his arms around her but instead of soothing her, it only made her cry harder.

"What happened Liz," he asked, obviously surprised and concerned by her outburst but trying to keep things under control.

"My daddy…"

"What?"

She tried to pull back but he had her by the forearms and wouldn't let go, "My daddy," she forced out.

"What about him," he asked, confusion evident in his voice because she never spoke of the man after he left.

"He died today."

His eyes narrowed, "So?"

She tried to pull away from him again when he apologized, "I just don't understand why you're crying like this over a guy who you haven't seen since you were 12."

"Because he's my dad."

There was silence before he replied, "Okay. I understand," and pulled her toward himself again and even though she knew he really didn't, she appreciated his effort and relaxed into his chest.

She didn't know how long she sat in his arms but it felt…nice. To not have to think about anything or anyone else, to not worry about how he would react to her tears because she knew he wasn't going anywhere, to feel really secure in their friendship.

"Why didn't you want to tell me earlier?"

She tried to get close to him even though she was already as close as she could get. "I didn't want to bother you. I know you have so much stuff going on and I didn't want to add to your worries by freaking out," she laughed. "Like I just did I guess."

"Don't do that," he said and she raised her head to look at him.

"Do what."

"Not tell me things that hurt you because you think I won't have time," he cupped her face in his hands. "I'll always make time."

She wanted to look away from his gaze, she wanted to cry again and she wanted to lean further into one of the hands currently cupping her face. She stayed very still instead. "Well you don't have to make too much time. I don't do this regularly, I don't really cry that much."

"Well don't worry about telling me when you do."

They smiled at each other and when she pulled back he let her go this time.

"You know," he said after a moment. "I liked helping you just now. I didn't like that you were hurting and I hate to see you cry but…I liked being able to comfort you. You're usually the one calming me down and sometimes I feel like I don't do anything for you…"

"You've never been a burden to me," she said, reading between the lines.

He watched her quietly with a serene smile.

"I love you," he said softly and when her eyes widened in surprise, he didn't look away or backtrack. "But you knew that already."

* * *

**Present Day **

**

* * *

**

Maria had begun to sing one of Liz's personal favorites as she watched Max being dragged onto the dance floor by a pretty blond. The song was slow and she looked away as the girl pulled him into an intimate embrace.

_We've been to the top, we've been to the bottom_

She raised her hand to get the bartenders attention and ordered a Skyy Blue martini before looking around. The club was packed and she smiled, Maria would be so happy about the turn out. She even recognized some of the same people showing up to her shows and singing along. Liz made a mental note to talk to her friend about making a C.D. before paying for her drink and letting her eyes drift back to her old friend.

_We've felt separate and felt the same_

She wasn't sure if he'd seen her when he'd come in a few moments ago, he and his date had been hanging all over each other, but she was sure that she didn't want him to see her now. The blond smiled coquettishly after whispering something in his ear and pressed her face further into his chest. Max smiled back softly, running his hand down her side and letting it rest against her hip and Liz was hit by something she hadn't felt since those lonely months directly after he'd disappeared.

Yearning.

An all encompassing, maddening, melancholy longing that clawed inside her chest and choked her. He started to look up and she turned away quickly, taking a deep swig of her drink and trying to breathe easy again. She turned back toward him again after a moment, watching and waiting to start feeling angry. She preferred that to the deeply pained sensation she had instead; Liz felt like that 17 year old girl still waiting for someone who wasn't going to show.

_We've shared joy and we've shared pain_

She seriously thought about leaving before deciding against it. She'd thought she was over what happened, over _him_, but her reaction to seeing him again yesterday, and the way she was feeling seeing him with that girl pointed in another direction. The knowledge that even a decade of separation couldn't lessen her reaction to him scared her. But to the little girl inside that remembered every fairytale and Disney movie she'd ever read or seen, the idea of loving someone that much sort of thrilled her as well.

_Oh yes the butterflies are still there_

He raised his head to scan the bar again and she watched him in anticipation. This was it, she'd either duck him or start making decisions to try and really move on with her life this time. To find out what happened so she'd finally be free for James.

His head turned and their eyes met and this time, she was the one to neither look away nor backtrack.

_Cause we came from the same cocoon_

_

* * *

_

_-The Song Maria sings is __Butterflies__ by Sia. _

_-The movie Max and Liz are watching is __My Girl__. If you've never seen it, remedy that situation as soon as possible. _


	5. Part Five

**Part Five**

**

* * *

**

He noticed Liz beginning to acknowledge him more when they saw each other at work after that night at the club. It began with head nods to recognize his presence and had since grown into full blown waves. He watched her disappear into the elevator before turning, picking up his shovel and making his way over to Alex.

"You done for the day," he asked while looking down at a clip board.

"Yeah," Max replied. Gathering his things slowly and making his way towards the door. If he didn't get a move on, he was going to be late for class.

"Who's that girl I've seen you waving at lately?"

He stopped but didn't turn toward him, "Who?"

"The cute little brunette," and Max could hear the smile in his voice. "Got yourself a scientist?"

He turned toward him, "No, she's just a girl I knew in high school. We lost touch for a couple of years and we just ran into one another again."

Alex grunted in response, not really listening. "Whatever you say man."

He narrowed his eyes and thought about asking what he meant by that, but shook the feeling off instead. The old Max would've gotten indignant but he was an adult now and things that can be explained away when done by a teenage boy cannot be when committed by a 27 year old man. He took a couple deep breaths and checked the watch at his wrist before moving out the door and to the subway at a fast clip. He was _definitely _going to be late for school.

-0-

Max ran through the door to his apartment, dropped his book-bag and only hesitated to answer the phone for a moment after he saw who was on the line.

"Where have the fuck have you been?"

He sat on the couch and clicked on the T.V with a smile. "Where's my hello Michael? I thought Philip and Dianne taught you better than that."

"Why don't you pick up your phone," he asked, annoyed by having to track him down every time he wanted to talk.

"Cause I don't need to," Max replied flippantly, knowing how it would rile the man.

"Don't start," he countered, "You said you were going to call me back days ago! You know how mom and dad…"

"Stop saying it like that," he responded suddenly unhappy, suddenly dark.

Michael stopped screaming, confused by his tone. "Say what like what?"

"Say mom and dad like they're ours…they're yours."

There was a long pregnant pause, "Look Max…"

"Forget it," he said quickly, trying to move ahead. "As you can hear, I'm alive and well."

"…How are the classes going," he continued conversationally, willing to let the last topic drop.

"Pretty well actually, I ran late at work and missed one tonight but there was no test or anything so I'll be alright."

Michael laughed abruptly.

"What," he asked, starting to smile a little as well.

"If anyone would've told me 10 years ago that Maxwell Evans would be going to school to become a cop, I would have never believed them."

"Why not," he asked with a big grin, the mood considerably lightened.

"Cause of all those arrests," he replied as if it should have been obvious. "How are you even sure they'll let you apply."

"I was a juvenile remember? Phillip helped me get them expunged."

"Oh," he replied. "So what else has been happening in the big city?"

Max got quiet for a moment, wondering whether or not he should share the news about seeing Liz. She and Michael's relationship had been, during the good times, contentious and he wasn't sure how his friend would respond to the news.

"Now I know something's up. Tell me what's going on Max."

He could hear the panic in his voice and decided to just come out with it. "I saw someone from high school the other day."

"Who?"

"Liz."

The second uncomfortable pause of the night went on for about a minute before Michael spoke up again. "I should have known it had something to do with her."

"What are you talking about," he replied; starting to get offended on her behalf.

"The way you're acting," he clarified, "almost like you did back then you know, all secretive and volatile. Not calling us back, in your own private world…"

"I was never that way with you guys."

"Of course you were! Liz was the only person you could talk to, the only person who understood," his voice had taken on a high pitched, whiney, mocking sound that Max didn't care for one bit.

"Stop talking about things you don't understand Michael," a warning evident in his voice.

"You see! Listen to the way you're talking! I've been here the whole time but you'll bite my head off over one comment about precious Liz."

"You sound more jealous than anything else to me."

"Maybe I am," he replied slowly, "It's just, I'm your brother…"

"You're not my brother," Max screamed into the phone, angry now and not willing to stop and think anymore. "I have family and you're not it!"

"Max…"

But he had already hung up.

* * *

**Roswell, New Mexico: 10 years prior**

**

* * *

**

"I heard you're going out with Elizabeth Parker."

The whole table erupted in hoots and Max could feel himself starting to blush. He loved having this weekly dinner with the Evans', it was like dining on Mars how different it was from the other six days of the week, but they could be so embarrassing sometimes.

"No," he said shaking his head slowly. "She's just my friend."

"Well I think she's cute and I would like you two together," Dianne said with a smile, watching him with knowing eyes.

"I think they'd be a disaster. They're already all over one another as it is," Michael said.

At Max's sharp look he raised his hands. "Just saying."

"Well stop 'just saying.'"

"Now now boys," Dianne quieted them, "Not at the dinner table."

"Yes please," Isabel remarked with practiced indifference. "The testosterone is strangling us."

"Oh give them a break," Philip replied, reaching for the mashed potatoes. "There's only one more of us than you two."

"Three too many," Diane whispered loudly under her breath and when Phillip reached for her and they playfully began to tussle over the table, both children groaned and begged them to please stop, that they were _disgusting_ and that _their_ _friends parents never acted like this._

Max sat back and watched them smiling but feeling separate. Though Iz and Michael pretended to hate their parents close relationship, he knew firsthand how happy they were for them and aspired for something similar in their own lives. They ate the roasted chicken Diane had, in her own words, 'slaved over all day,' the mashed potatoes and corn; all the while sharing anecdotes and stories from their day.

Usually Max just came to these dinners, smiled when he was supposed to, shared a story when asked then left but tonight he allowed himself to imagine. Imagine what could have happened if, when this nice family went to the orphanage and picked out a little 4 year old boy, that kid's dad hadn't come back two years later and ripped him away. If he'd been able to grow up in a home with adults who loved and took care of him, if he'd had siblings to fight with, and a yard; who he might have become.

How much better he might have turned out.

A hard shake on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see a concerned Dianne standing over him, "I was asking if you wanted to take some home?"

"No thank you," he said quickly standing and bringing his plate to the sink for Phillip to wash.

"Well I guess I'll see you guys next Thursday," he hugged Phil and Dianne, who had followed behind him. The others must have wandered upstairs because he couldn't find them, "Tell Michael and Iz I'll see them tomorrow."

The two adults shared a look before Phillip turned back to the sink.

"Would you come out onto the porch with me for a second Max? There's something I need to tell you then I'll drive you home."

"Alright," he replied feeling like something was going on he wasn't privy to.

They walked out to the back porch and sat down on the steps, "Did I ever tell you about the time 13 years ago when Phillip and I went to find a baby to adopt?"

He groaned good-naturedly but she continued as though nothing had interrupted her, "No? Well, we went to see some babies that were up for adoption when we passed a playroom. I just happened to glance to my side and what do I see but the most beautiful little boy with the thickest mop of jet black hair I've ever seen."

He smiled and watched the side of her face as she spoke. "Well I just kept walking and went to see some very cute little babies that needed parents but my thoughts kept going back to that one little boy I'd seen earlier in the day. I knew if we didn't take a newborn it would most likely be adopted anyway but a toddler? I knew that that little boy needed us more so I talked to Phillip, we went to the agency the next day and told them we wanted him instead."

She looked at him with a smile, "You know who that boy was?"

"Me," he said, trying his hardest to sound put out instead of delighted.

"That's right," she replied flicking his nose, "and we'll always want you."

The smile left her face slowly, "We'll always love you."

Max stood so quickly he almost lost his balance, "I'll see you next Thursday Mrs. Evans."

She stood, "Please call me…" He knew she wanted to say mom, _'Please call me mom. PLEASE!' _but she also knew that he never would, that he couldn't, so she said nothing. Instead reached up and gently rubbed her thumb along the yellowing bruise under his eye.

"You'd tell us if you were in any real trouble right," she asked and he could hear the desperation in her voice.

He grabbed her wrists gently and pulled them toward himself, looking into her eyes. "Of course I would. It was just a school fight," he hated having to lie to her like this but it was the only way. It was too late to try and have Hank locked up for this. His 18th birthday was practically around the corner and if he turned him in now, he'd be back in the system for those months. The Evans' wouldn't be able to just keep him, they'd have to have papers and court orders and…it was all too much. He'd rather wait it out.

He wasn't going back into foster care for any length of time ever again.

She studied him for a minute, trying to find some deception, before pulling him into her arms and sighing out her relief. "I just worry about you being with that man," she spit the last word out like it was poison.

"He's not so bad," he replied evenly, "I'll be 18 any day now anyway."

"You'll always be an Evans you know," she said so quietly he almost missed himself.

"Yeah, he never bothered to have my name changed back."

She looked at him pointedly. "You know what I meant."

He nodded, "Let's go."

-0-

The drive home was silent but comfortable and he was in good spirits as he watched Diane pull away. Max pulled out his keys, unlocked the door and entered the trailer only to hit the ground as something heavy connected with his jaw.

Hard.

He never panicked, just put his fingers to the wound gingerly, inspecting the small cut and deeming it not too bad. The boot pressing down into the center of his chest was a different story.

"You think you betta than me don't cha," came the slurred voice of his father from above him. He didn't respond, Hank never really wanted one anyway, he just concentrated on taking as many quick short breathes as possible.

"You can run around in the suburbs with your pretend momma and daddy but that don't mean you ain't still trash."

Max closed his eyes and focused on his breathing when he felt the man lean down over him, replace the foot with a knee and grab his face. The boys' eyes flew open as he yelped out in pain; the pain from the cut had begun to dim to an uncomfortable pulse in the back of his mind until Hank grabbed it.

The big man smiled wobbly, "This," he commented offhandedly, showing him his own blood, "is the same stuff running through these veins no matter how much you pray and whine and cry for it to be different."

"Leave me alone dad," he replied lowly, letting his eyes drift shut again and trying to think about some other place. Any other place as long as it wasn't in Roswell.

"And that little brunette…" He felt himself jerked roughly into the present at the mention of her from _this_ man's lips. He knew it was the same ploy he used every time to get a rise out of his son and even though he was wise to the older man's game, he fell for it every single time.

This instance was no different.

"Don't you say her name," he wanted his voice to sound hard and threatening but it came out wispy and scared instead. The idea that his father knew who Liz was, where she lived and what school she went to worried him deeply though he'd never shared the fear with anyone. He was fairly sure Hank would never go after her, but he wasn't 100% certain and the grin on his father's face said that he knew that.

"She's just slumming with you," he replied with such confidence he even had Max wondering, "nice girls like that don't stay with guys like you and me."

He stood up slowly and went to the kitchen to get another beer; watching what he could see of his sons prone body in the darkness as he took a deep swig.

"I just thought you should know is all; didn't want you getting your hopes up."

Max licked his lips and moved to sit with his back against the wall. He watched his father watching him before speaking quietly. "Why didn't you leave me with them? They're good people, they love me."

Hank looked truly confused by the question before answering flatly. "Because I love you," and the honesty in his voice added a whole other dimension of unease to Max. "I could never let those people have you, you're my very own flesh and blood," he slurred lightly and walked back towards him.

Max tensed, awaiting an attack that didn't come, instead the man leaned toward him and gently touched his face. "You're my very own baby boy." Hank narrowed his eyes at him and looked very sober for a moment. "Sometimes you look like _her_ so much, I don't know whether I want to kill you or keep you forever, but either way, I know I'll never let you leave me"

* * *

**Present**

**

* * *

**

Max looked at the only photo he owned of both his parents and silently agreed with his father about his and his mothers resemblance before sliding it back into the drawer in his bedroom.


	6. Part Six

**Part Six**

**Roswell, New Mexico: 10 Years Prior**

**

* * *

**

"Where have you been lately?"

Liz contemplated pulling out of Kyle's grasp and walking away as if she'd never noticed him at all but decided not to. With a sigh, she turned toward him with a shrug, "The usual places."

His grip loosened into a caress. "I've been looking for you since last week. You kind of jumped out of the car without a backwards glance and I was worried…"

"No," she replied quickly, trying to look around the school parking lot and make sure no one was eavesdropping without letting him catch on. "I've just been caught up in a few things."

"Yeah I heard."

She tensed and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Something about your…friend Max and his dad."

She pulled away from him angrily. "I don't think it's very professional to tell your son things about other people that you've learned on the job," she said quietly while trying to make her way towards the schools front door.

He jumped in front of her, "my dad hasn't told me anything about what is or isn't going on over there." His face got a little softer then, "I've been hearing rumors though."

She folded her arms across her chest, "What kind?"

He shook his head, "About a fight with his dad."

"Well none of that stuff's true," she replied, her voice a full octave higher than what it normally was."Why don't you try and spread that around?"

"Alright," he said quietly, rubbing her shoulders, trying to calm her down. "I don't want to talk about that anyway, I want to talk about last week."

He looked down and smiled gently and she felt her heart beat faster for a moment. "I want to talk about that kiss."

"That was…" she searched her mind for an adjective and came up empty.

"Nice," he supplied for her and she remembered why she had started liking him last semester. When he wasn't around his stupid friends, he could be sweet. He was popular, funny, cute, and he liked her back. No hang up's, no baggage, and even though it hurt her to think it, those last two attributes were major pluses.

She looked at a point off in the distance beyond his right shoulder and shrugged, biting her lip against a smile. "I guess."

"We should go out tonight."

"I don't know…"

"Oh come on. Why not," he asked good-naturedly.

She looked at him and opened her mouth to reply before deciding against it.

His smile slipped and his face get serious. "Is something going on between you two," and he didn't need to explain who the other person he was talking about was because they both knew. "I hear a lot about…"

"No," she cut in. "There's nothing like that between us. We're just friends."

"Those kind of friends?"

She recoiled, "I don't sleep with him," Liz said, angry that he even thought he had the right to ask.

"I don't mean that kind of friend," he went on with a knowing smile and watched her grow red with embarrassment for a moment before continuing. "I meant that the relationship's complicated."

She wiped imaginary dust from her t-shirt. "Yeah, complicated is a good word it."

"Well I'm not asking you to run away with me. I just want us to show up at a movie at the same time."

She started to smile as he continued.

"Eat dinner at the same restaurant. We don't even have to share a table if you don't want to."

She smacked his arm playfully and he chuckled, "Come on, one more date and if everything goes smoothly, we'll talk about more later."

"Okay," she replied barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Okay," he repeated, "I'll pick you up at 8."

He turned to make his way into the building and she watched his back before running to catch up, "You've been different lately. You're always nice, don't get me wrong, but…there's something new about you."

She watched him study her before answering, "Well. I've been studying something lately that's been really calming."

She nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I've been reading up on…Buddhism."

"Buddhism?"

"Buddhism," he confirmed, a big smile growing on his face, "and if you tell anyone I'll kill you."

She laughed, "Don't worry, if I can do anything it's keep a secret."

-0-

"You had fun then?"

Liz looked down at her feet before leaning further into the driver's side door and smiling, "Yes, I had a lot of fun. Who knew bowling was such a good time?"

"I did."

"Well I'm glad I let you show me."

They fidgeted for a few minutes in a somewhat awkward silence as Liz glanced down at her scuffed tennis again and contemplated her options. She could give him a pat on the back, a smile and go on her merry way though this was their third date and that might seem like a bit of a brush-off. She could kiss him even though she knew what he was hoping to happen between them and she wasn't sure about anything except that he was fun.

She glanced at his mouth from beneath her lashes quickly before looking away, still undecided.

Her final option was to invite him inside and… she shook that thought off immediately with a definite no.

"Well I'll see you at school tomorrow then?"

She looked back up smiling tightly and backing away from the truck, "Yeah. I'll see ya."

He watched her for a second, waiting, before nodding to himself and putting the truck in gear to pull off.

She watched him pulling away before something inside of her broke, something that wanted to be free of everyone and everything in her life, something scared and fragile that just wanted to feel…content. Max made her feel out of control, crazy, like there was something inside of herself that she had no control over. That only lived and breathed for the love and acknowledgment of him and that was unacceptable. Love like that, passionate all consuming love, didn't last.

It tore you apart then went on its way and the side of Liz that was all about self-preservation saw Kyle as a lifesaver. A sweet, good-looking guy that liked her. One who wasn't fucked up, one who had a nice father and made decent grades. Someone who, when she looked at him, didn't make her heart beat out of her chest, or her breath short. Just a nice boy who made her feel something even more elusive: Safe. Not physically, because Max would ever lay a hand on her, but emotionally. No angst, turmoil, or resentment, just niceties and the appeal of that stability was irresistible.

She was running behind the truck and waving for him to stop before she realized it and when he stopped the truck and stuck his head of the window to question her, she simply wrapped her fingers around his chin, pulled him forward and kissed him. She was dimly aware of him shifting the truck into park and of herself trying to climb further into the cab.

With more of his body available, she was able to really lean into the kiss and control it. He moaned and grabbed the front of her shirt trying to pull her further in but her feet were already barely on the ground and if she didn't get down there was going to be a nasty bruise across her stomach if how it was feeling right now was anything to go by. She gently pried his hands away and slid down before smiling wildly at his flushed shocked face.

"Why didn't you wait for me to open the door?"

She shrugged, feeling powerful, "It was a spur of the moment thing."

With that she turned on her heel as she walked back to The Crashdown with a smile, listening to him idle for a few seconds before putting the car in drive and taking off. She licked her lips and tried to sort out how she was feeling before feeling her grin slip when realizing, compared to how she had felt just being in Max's presence when he'd told her he felt…that.

It was nothing.

Nothing much at all.

* * *

**Present**

**

* * *

**

"Are you going to talk to him," James asked quietly, taking the dripping plate from her and drying it off before slipping it into the cabinet, "Max I mean."

"I don't know about all that."

"I think you should."

She looked at him, trying to urge him to continue speaking.

"You loved him once right? Well you never even told me his name before today so the fact that your seeing him got you to open up more to me is good right? It'll help you move on…"

"I have moved on," she replied curtly. "I live with you, I love you. Why are you trying to get me to reconcile with an ex."

"Because there are unresolved issues there. I don't even know half the story but I could tell. Why were you trying to run away from him with this Kyle guy in the first place?"

When she didn't respond he took that as evidence for his argument. "There was something there and you just wanted to pretend like there wasn't so you tried to go the easy way."

They were quiet for a second.

"Was that the end of you two? Is that how you broke it off?"

"Well…"

"When then?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she said and began to pace the small kitchen. "It was forever ago. I can't even remember."

She looked up into his sweet empathetic face.

"You're pacing Liz," he walked over and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her. "I just think maybe you should talk to him. He was your friend first right?"

She nodded.

"Well remember those times instead of the dating ones and that might make it easier. I want you to be happy for your party next month."

"Understand this James," she said, leaning into his touch but never looking away from his eyes, "I'll be happy whether I speak to him or not."

"So you'll talk with him then?"

She groaned and he smiled before giving her a friendly pat on the back, "It's for the best honey."

-0-

Liz mulled the conversation over on the subway ride into Manhattan, on the walk to work, on the elevator ride up to her lab and she was still thinking it over sitting at her desk four hours later when her phone rang.

"Hello Liz. Are you on your way?"

It took her a moment to recognize her mother's voice, "Where?"

"The restaurant; we were supposed to eat lunch together today remember?"

She ignored the older woman's exasperated tone and squeezed her eyes shut while rubbing her temple.

"It completely slipped my mind but I'm on my way right now."

"Get here soon," she replied before hanging up and Liz could practically hear her lips pursing.

She sighed before getting up, pulling off her white coat and pulling on a light jacket. She hesitated for a second before walking down the hall and getting in the elevator, she would see Max down there today, just like she did everyday but today, she was going to ask to go to lunch with her and…reminisce.

She thought about what the best method to go about this was. Would he be freaked out that a girl he hadn't thought about in a decade wanted to go to lunch with him? Would he find her pathetic for still thinking about them so many years later?

She rubbed her temple again and put those thoughts from her mind, all she could do was ask. The worst he could say was no and tell everyone back home how desperate she was but since Liz had no plans of returning there any time soon that didn't really bother her.

Best case scenario, he said yes, they have a nice lunch and they go their separate ways. She nodded her head with resolve and tried to slow her heart when the doors slid open onto the lobby.

She stepped out with purpose and turned to walk toward where she'd nodded her hellos to him everyday for the past 2 weeks and found the worksite deserted. She stopped with a confused look before continuing forward and opening the doors into the newly redone green space.

The newly redone and seemingly completed green-space.

-0-

The sharp snap brought her eyes from the window facing out of the nice but not too nice restaurant to her mothers tight face. "Have you been listening to me at all dear?"

"Yes," she replied, sitting up straighter, it was funny how at 26, practically 27, she was still that 17 year old girl around her parents.

"Well then, you'll consider it then?"

"Of course I will," she replied hastily, "remind me about what I'm considering again."

Her mother narrowed her eyes. "Coming home for Christmas."

Liz felt herself rolling her eyes at the old question.

"I know you don't like the circumstances of your departure but your stepfather would really like to see you. You know he's sick and can't fly, he hasn't seen you in 10 years."

She brushed her hair back and looked away. Maybe it _was_ time to go back to Roswell. If she was willing to try working through whatever lingering issues she had with Max, why couldn't she go home and try to forgive and forget her issues with the city of her youth?

"Liz…"

"I'll think about it."

"You say that every year," her mother replied and took a sip of water.

Liz watched her face and noticed how drawn and weary it was. How the last two years of her stepfathers illness had aged her 15. They were getting older and even though they'd been hard on her, Liz knew her parents loved her.

Even if they never said so.

"Well I mean it this year."

There must have been something in her face because instead of arguing, Nancy simply nodded before glancing at her watch.

"I'm going to fly out soon so I'll call you when I get there."

They both stood and hugged before exiting the restaurant. Liz helped her catch a taxi and watched it drive away before turning to make her way back to the office.

-0-

"Hello?"

She'd just gotten back to Pfizer and turned toward the tall, skinny, vaguely familiar man speaking to her with a soft smile.

"Yes?"

"My names Alex" he stuck out his hand and she grasped it, "I think I worked on the green space at your building."

"Yes," she said smiling wider, "I knew you looked familiar but I couldn't place you."

"Yeah you too," he replied, returning her grin, "Well I recognized your face and I just wanted to see if you were the same girl."

She nodded as he turned to walk away before she stopped him suddenly.

"There was a man named Max, Maxwell Evans," she clarified, "That worked with you and I went to speak to him but it looks like the projects done."

He nodded, "Yeah, we're finished."

"It's beautiful by the way," she complimented.

He beamed, "Thank you."

"Well anyways, I was wondering if you had his contact info or anything…"

"Well it would be against the law for me to give that out to you."

"I know," she replied quickly, "but we were friends when we were younger and I just wanted to get back in touch with him. I swear I'm not a stalker," she added quickly.

"I'm sure most stalkers say that."

She kept quiet because there was really no response to that.

He smiled, "I know you're not a stalker, I would give you the information if I had it but I don't. All that stuff's sent to the head office when an employee leaves the company."

"He quit?"

"No. He's only a temp worker though and he's not on call right now."

She sighed, "Alright then. Thank you for your help though."

She was walking away when he called out, "He goes to this park around here sometimes, something with an H. You might be able to find him there."

She smiled brightly, excited again, "I think I know what you're talking about. Thanks."

She didn't wait to hear his response before blowing out the door, crossing the street and making her way towards the park.

-0-

Liz stood behind him sweaty and completely frozen.

She'd run/walked to the park and searched for a good 20 minutes before spotting him off in a shady private corner.

"Happy birthday, birthday boy."

She watched him tense up at her call and slowly made her way over to stand in front of him.

There was silence for a moment as they appraised one another.

"Did I startle you?"

"When?"

"Just now," I didn't mean to scream like that…it just came out."

She watched him watch her with a gentle intensity before turning away and breaking the contact. "No," he replied and when she looked back he was concentrating on the ham and cheese sandwich in his hand.

"You didn't startle me."

She moved and sat next to him on the bench leaving a good bit of space between them.

"It's not my birthday anyway."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw a small smile, "it was a little while ago."

"Yours is coming up soon."

She knew he meant something else by that comment but couldn't decipher its true meaning, "sure is."

"The big 27."

"Ten years."

He turned fully towards her then and she mimicked his pose.

"Too long."

He had that same intense stare from earlier, from when they were kids and he was trying to read her, trying to see some truth inside her that she didn't even know about yet. Everything in her wanted to deny him that piece of the past. That ability he had to look through her with one glance, to turn away from him and kill that part of _them_.

That connection they shared that would not seem to go and die peacefully.

Instead, she smiled and nodded. "Yeah, too long."


	7. Part Seven

**Part Seven**

**Roswell, New Mexico: 10 Year's Prior**

**

* * *

**

"You should fuck him."

Liz was almost as thrown off by Maria's use of the curse word as she was by the abrupt change in conversation.

"…Kyle?"

"No," she replied offhandedly, looking past Liz and nodding her head toward someone, "turn slow."

Liz rolled her eyes and glanced over her shoulder before turning back toward her friend with a shrug, "I don't know anyone back there."

"Really," she asked.

"No," she said popping a slightly burnt fry into her mouth, "just Max."

Maria widened her eyes and reached across the table to pinch her nose. "Bingo."

The brunette slapped her friends hand away in irritation and shock. "What are you talking about?"

"You love him," when Liz moved to speak, she put up a hand to quite her and went on. "More than friendly love and I don't really understand why you're running from him so hard."

"I don't…"

"Yes you do."

"He doesn't…"

The blond snorted at what her friend was about to say and cut in. "Now we _both_ know that's not true."

Liz threw her hands into the air and shook her head in confusion. "I don't even know how we got on this subject and how would you know anything about how he feels?"

"I know he told you he loved you."

"How…"

"I also know that you didn't say anything back."

"Will you please let me finish a thought 'Ria!"

Maria shrugged and rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her coke. "Go on."

Liz leaned forward after glancing around the cafeteria to make sure she hadn't attracted any unwanted attention. "How do you know all that stuff? I never told you that he said…that."

Maria scrunched her face in disgust. "Why can't you say that he said I love you? Or, more importantly, why don't you believe it?"

The brunette rubbed her temple trying to beat the headache she felt coming on. "Because he doesn't. He's confused, we're just friends."

She opened her eyes to see Maria's soft features and her hand on hers. "I love you chica. You know that right?"

Liz nodded slowly.

"You gotta stop being so condescending toward Max."

"Condescending?"

She nodded, "It's condescending when someone tells you how they feel and you ignore it because they're 'confused.' "

She worked her mouth for a moment, searching her brain for a comeback before just shutting it all together.

"It does sound like I'm talking down to him but I'm not," she sighed, "It's complicated."

"Because of what's going on with his daddy."

She pulled her hand and crossed them over her chest, "Nothing's going on with his dad, that's a rumor."

"Well," she replied, mimicking Liz's position. "I know that's a lie too."

Liz watched her for a moment, trying to see whether she was bluffing or not and couldn't detect a hint of treachery. "How do you know these things?"

"I slept with Michael for the first time a month ago and we've been sleeping together ever since."

If this were a movie, Liz would've just done a spit take.

"I knew you two were messing around but…"

"I love him and he told me all that stuff. Now you know you're not the only one who can keep a secret"

Liz ignored that last part for the moment, "So Max told him?"

The blond swallowed and for the first time during this conversation looked unsure of herself, "No…"

"Well how do you know then?"

"You remember when Max was having that major freak out and disappeared for a week?"

"Yeah."

"He was worried and Michael knows he keeps a pretty regular journal so he went over there when Hank was working and read it."

"Maria…," Liz said quietly.

"I know," she shot back, "but he was worried. He just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to hurt himself or anything stupid like that. That's when he read about the 'I love you' thing and whatever else."

"Like what else," she asked tightly.

"Nothing else, he didn't read it all, just the later entries and he wouldn't tell me everything that he did read anyway. He just said how much Max loved you because I think he wanted us to have this conversation."

Liz scoffed, "Michael hates me. Why would he want you to talk to me about Max?"

"Maybe he loves Max more than he dislikes you," Maria replied sagely and Liz watched her for a second before she smiled and sat back.

Maria smiled back and relaxed. "Seriously though, why are you against being with him so bad?"

She sighed, "All the stuff with his dad. I feel like he just said that because I'm his friend and he wants to make sure I don't leave him."

"That's shit Liz. You're scared of taking on someone with so many issues and you're worried about what dear old mommy and daddy would think."

"Don't talk about them," she responded angrily.

"I'm not going to, I'm just going to ask you to think of yourself first once. You love him, you've loved since you two were little and you know you want to be with him so stop making a big horrible production of it and be with him!"

She shook her head gently and looked away, "I can't. What about Kyle?"

"Dump him. I know he's a nice boy and you like him so that's why you should break it off before it gets any deeper and leaving would hurt him more. You don't love him, you love Max."

She considered denying it before just letting it go and sharing her fears and insecurities with her friend, "I wouldn't even know how to approach him. After he told me he loved me, we never really spoke of it again."

Maria leaned forward, "I know there hasn't been anyone since Sean…"

At Liz's look, she quickly continued, "Even though he doesn't count because he's an evil jerk," she smirked and leaned closer. "Here's what you do about Max: Take a shower, put on some make-up, some perfume, go to him or have him come to you or whatever and just say," she lowered her voice to a sexy drawl, "I want you to come over here and take this dress off of me."

There was dead silence for a moment before Liz's high pitch squeal broke it. "I'm not saying that!"

"It was just a suggestion," the blond replied with a giggle of her own.

When the five minute bell rang they got up and started to walk toward their next two classes, "About those secrets I was keeping…"

Maria waved it off, "Everyone keeps some things to themselves and it doesn't mean we love each other any less right?"

"Right."

"So anyways" she said with a smile, "you know what you have to do right? Dump the boy, get a pretty dress and go to work!"

"I am not sleeping with him Maria. We've never even been on a date."

"You've known him since you were little and you go places together all the time. Whether you called them dates or not, they were dates."

She breathed out and shook her head, afraid of what Maria was telling her and how fast everything was moving, "I don't know."

"Look," she turned her friend toward her, "Do you at least agree that you're going to let Kyle go, that you believe Max loves you and that you love him too?"

"…I guess."

"You guess or you know?"

She looked at her friend when someone caught her eye from over her shoulder. Max nodded at her and waved before disappearing into the sea of students.

In that moment, she decided to own it, "I know."

"Well that's the first step," Maria said with a smile while slinging her arm around Liz's shoulder and starting to walk forward again.

* * *

**Present Day **

**

* * *

**

She quickly looked away from the side of his face when he turned toward her.

"…I'm in school too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. The landscaping thing is just so I'll have something to live on," a mischievous smile grew on his face.

"What's that look for," she asked, feeling a similar grin split her own features.

"Um, I'm actually getting ready to go to the Police Academy. I'm studying so I can be a cop."

Liz started to laugh and when he looked at her with a confused smile that only spurred her to laugh harder.

"What?"

She stopped and took a few breaths, "I was just laughing because I don't remember you having the best relationship with the authority figures in our town."

"Yeah I remember," he said softly, looking more relaxed than he had when she'd first walked up, "I was different back then."

"You're not too different now I hope."

His smile slipped, "I do."

"No," she said waving him off, "I was just thinking about you and how you really did have all the qualities of a cop."

He scoffed and she went on, "Seriously, you were always protective, "she watched him smile at that.

"I also remember what a control freak you were," the smile slipped and she went on.

"A savior complex bigger than Superman's."

He caught on to her teasing and punched shoulder gently, "Simmer down."

She smiled, "Seriously though, you're going to be a great cop."

He looked back at her and didn't say anything for a moment. "Thank you."

They sat quietly as Liz debated with herself on whether or not to ask her next question when Max started to get up and gather his things with a sad look, "I have to be to class soon so I'm going to have to go now."

She nodded and stood quickly, "My birthdays coming up and I would really like it if you were there."

He seemed taken aback by her invitation but happy. "If you want me to be there. I will be."

"Well I saw you at Maria's gig the other night and you were with a girl so I wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes."

"No," he replied quickly, "It's not like that with her, with Eliza that is."

She felt stupid for even bringing it up but the girl, Eliza, had been on her mind since that night and she was just too curious not to ask, especially since things were going well, "It's none of my business anyway."

He moved his mouth to say something before shutting it and Liz spoke to break the sudden tension. With a smile, she stuck her hand out, "gimme your phone."

He did without hesitation and she punched a number into it. When her phone rang, she hung it up and handed his back over.

"I've got your number and you've got mine."

"Alright, call when the party happens."

"I'd actually like to meet before then, like maybe for lunch or something. There are some things I want to tell you."

He looked less than enthused about the prospect but nodded anyways, "Just call me and we'll set something up."

He started to walk away when she ran up and pulled him into a hug, at his stiff response, she pulled back and covered her mouth with her hand, embarrassed.

"How awkward, I'm sorry."

"No no, you just caught me off guard is all." He looked down at her for a moment before opening his arms in invitation. "Can I have another go?"

She must not have answered fast enough for him because he was right in front of her and she was enveloped in his embrace before she could think of a good reason to tell him no.

"Relax Liz, it's alright," he said against her ear and she felt herself shiver.

As soon as she heard his voice, felt his breath, she loosened up and allowed herself to enjoy his touch. Turned her face into his neck, breathed in his cologne and how it mixed with his sweat and the heat from the day and when he pulled back with a smile she had to shove down her disappointment.

"I'll see you."

"Yeah, I'll see you."


	8. Part Eight

_Author's Note__: This chapter contains Adult Content._

_

* * *

_

**Part Eight**

**

* * *

**

When he saw Liz approaching Dizzies Café through the big picture window in the front, he looked down at his watch, she was just as punctual as he remembered, and stood up to greet her.

"Hey," he said shyly and pulled her into a less awkward embrace than the one they'd shared the day before but that was nothing like the ones they'd had back in Roswell. 'Give it time,' he thought before he could censor himself, they would never be like they were back then.

He pulled out her chair and motioned her into it before pushing it in, returning to his own seat and gesturing for the waitress.

"What would you two like to drink today?"

"I'll just have water please."

"Vodka tonic."

His confusion at her request must have shown on his face because she shrugged while saying, "it's happy hour right?"

Actually it was only 12 but she was an adult and could make her own decisions.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, I'll have the All American with fries and my friend will have…"

He watched Liz glanced over the menu, "I'll have a chicken Caesar wrap on wheat please."

They handed over their menus and looked at each other over the table with leery and expectant smiles.

He cleared his throat. "I never got to ask you about what you've been doing?"

"Everything I ever said I was going to," she replied with a smile, setting her elbows on the table and leaning further in, getting comfortable. "I made it into Harvard, got my degrees and became the scientist I always wanted to be."

He smiled at that, genuinely happy for her. "I'm so glad to hear that, I always wanted that for you."

He wanted to bite back his next question but couldn't stop himself from asking it. "What about your personal life?"

She looked up sharply and he ignored it. "You've gotta have some guy waiting at home for you every night."

A gentleman, upon seeing how flustered she was by the question, would've rescinded it and taken the conversation in a different direction. Max, on the other hand, just sipped on the water their waitress sat before him and waited for a response.

"Um," he watched her run a finger through the condensation on her glass. "There is someone. A bo..man," she corrected herself. "A man named James."

"James?"

"Yes, he's in the law field and he's brilliant," she replied with a too big smile.

"I would expect no less from you."

She looked away at that and picked up her glass to take a drink. "What's your girl do?"

He thought about contradicting her on Eliza being his girl but went with, "Graphic design," instead.

"An artist."

He nodded even though she wasn't facing him and couldn't see it.

She turned toward him quickly, smiling with a sharp edge. "The exact opposite of me."

He opened his mouth but ended up shutting it because he had nothing to say.

"I mean," she continued, "tall, blond and arty but we have the same first 5 letters to our names. Does that mean something," she asked on an edgy laugh even though she really wasn't looking for an answer.

"Liz…"

"I know," she said, talking over him. "We were having a good time and now I'm ruining it but you're going to have to tell me what happened that day."

"Liz…"

She leaned forward, "where were you," she spit through a closed mouth, "while I waited in that hotel room for…"

She stopped when the waitress came over and sat their plates down before she quickly went to make herself busy someplace else.

"I need you to tell me where you were right now max," and the hard edge had left her voice, only hollowness remained. "I know this is kind of out of the blue but I've been trying to guess for the last decade and I need to know for sure now."

He looked across the table at her, feeling miserable.

"Did you even love me," she whimpered, feeling weak and pathetic but unable to control herself.

He reached toward her and grabbed her hand. "I loved you more than anything."

"Then what happened," she asked, the vulnerability she'd just shown now completely hidden from view.

He shook his head, "I wouldn't even know where to start."

Liz pulled her hand out from under his, folded her arms across her chest, leaned back in her seat and set her mouth into a grim line.

"There's always a moment that kicks everything off right?"

He leaned back as well, resigned, and nodded.

"Start there."

* * *

**Roswell, New Mexico: 10 Years Prior **

**

* * *

**

"I love you Max."

He turned around and looked at her, in a white halter dress, uncomprehending, "excuse me," then narrowed his eyes, "how did you get in here?"

Liz seemed to shrink a little in uncertainty before squaring her shoulders and moving towards him. She looked down on him with a smile and said, "you told me you keep your key above the door," before leaning forward and grabbing his belt.

He caught her hand and his breath before stopping her, "what are you doing?"

She looked at him with an expression then that he'd rarely seen from her, one that showed no fear. "I would hope that was obvious."

Suddenly afraid of possibly having the thing he hadn't recognized wanting until he was 13 years old made him grasp her hands tighter instead of letting them go, "why now?"

She grinned and got to her knees in front of him with a shrug, "why not?

She had his belt open and his zip down and his tennis and boxers and jeans off before he could think up reasons why this shouldn't be happening.

Then her hand was on him and he wasn't thinking about much of anything anymore.

He let his head fall back, closed his eyes and focused on the feel of the glide of her hand, a little too tight, a little too rough, and he moaned as he spread his legs farther apart. His whole perception had been whittled down to a single point, the focus of which was his cock, so he didn't notice she had moved closer to him until he felt her mouth engulf the tip of him.

His hand flew up, looking for something to grab a hold of, something to keep him tethered to the earth and found nothing. Max closed his eyes tighter, focused on the newly heightened sensations. The wet suction of her mouth, the newly damp friction of her hand below that and noticed that his moans had taken on the quality of a trapped animal but couldn't summon up the energy to try and stop them.

She ran her tongue along the edge under the helmet and he gasped and reared up. She pulled her mouth off of him with a pop and laughed, "Gentle Max."

He swallowed, opened his eyes and lowered his hand to touch the side of her face, not truly believing this was happening, needing to look at her "Liz," he said but it sounded more like a groan and the smile slipped from her face as she took him back in her mouth and swallowed around his member.

He shut his eyes again, held his breath and bite his lip hard enough to draw blood, feeling like he was about to come. Trying to stymie it and let this last as long as possible, he decided to focus on his breathing: deep inhale, deep exhale but instead of dulling the sensitivity, it ratcheted the feelings up. He felt his breath catching and sparks that had been confined to his belly a moment ago started to wash up and outward from the tips of his toes to the top of head. He raised his hips up towards her and when she reached up and under his shirt to run her nails down his chest he felt the glimmer concentrated in his lower abdomen getting stronger and swirling tighter and faster until…

"Stop," he said quickly on an exhale but she was intent on her task and either didn't hear or ignored his request. He felt her use an edge of teeth on him and the ball of heat in his gut felt like it was about to detonate. Desperate to stop it, he used the hand currently balled up in her hair to pull her up and away from him harshly.

"Max," she squeaked out and he immediately let her go, getting to his knees and pulling her into his arms, kissing the side of her face and the top of her head where he'd grabbed her.

"I'm sorry Liz."

"That hurt," she whimpered a little and leaned her head to the side so he'd be able to get at more of her neck.

"I know. I'm sorry, I never want to hurt you," he breathed into her collar having picked up the hint.

"I didn't want to come yet."

She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and arched her back against him at that, "I was about to make you come?"

"Yeah," he said, realizing that she needed to hear it. He tugged on her ear lobe and pulled over one side of her dress, exposing her. She started to pant and turned her face to the side, blindly searching for his mouth. He gave it to her and palmed her breast, rolled the nipple between his thumb and middle finger, increased the pressure in small increments until she was trying to straddle his thigh and rolling against him like a wave.

"Let's go to the bed."

He shook his head, manhandled her up into the arm chair he'd just been in and grabbed the collar of his shirt at the back of his neck and pulled it over his head. He threw it across the room and looked back to see her smiling, "You look like a kid."

He kneeled in front of her with a smirk and grabbed her around the thighs, pulling her further down into the chair and closer to him, "I do?"

Her expression turned dark, "not anymore."

He kept his eyes on hers as he slowly pulled her dress up, past her thighs and up to her waist. He looked down then and stuck his finger into one side of her panties, "black lace, I never would have thought."

"Well I'm full of surprises today aren't I" she whispered coyly.

He smiled but didn't look up or answer, just bent one leg against his chest and unbuttoned her strappy sandal. He laid that knee over his shoulder and moved to the other foot to do the same. He reached up and grabbed the delicate fabric at either hip, only then did he catch her eye again, before pulling them down and sitting them down next to him. He returned one leg to his shoulder and put one across the arm of the chair, spreading her out for his viewing pleasure. He expected her to close her knees then, to push him away, try to interest him in something else like the other girls he'd been with had done at this point but she didn't. Just raised a brow and smirked.

My my, she _was_ full of surprises.

He ran his hand up her side, palmed the breast that she had yet to hide and reveled in her sigh, he decided then to see what other sounds he could get out of her. A giggle when he sucked on her pinky toe, a gasp when he licked behind her knee and a high pitched whine as he nibbled the tendon between her pelvis and thigh.

Max looked back up at her, "I've never really done this to anyone before. Other girls never let me get this close."

He spread his hand wide over the hip of the leg that was thrown over the arm of the chair and let his thumb slide into the wet heat between her thighs. He watched her face slide into a soft wanting look before letting his gaze follow the action of his hand. He realized then how they must look. Him, totally naked and on his knees before her, she, fully dressed with her legs spread and he felt a tendril of dark heat shoot through his groin.

"You can tell me what to do."

His thumb found her clit on its own volition, as if he were in a trance, and started to rub. "Tell me to do it faster or slower or harder and I will. I'll do anything you tell me to"

She didn't look at him or even answer, just rolled her head from side to side and pushed her hips towards him, and she smelled so good, earthy and turned on, and he didn't wait for her to hear, just started to lower his head toward the apex of her thighs when she grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled him back.

"What's wrong?"

She didn't answer, just pushed at his shoulders and leaned against him until he was flat on his back on the floor. Then she was straddling him and he wanted to tell her to wait. That he wanted to make her feel as good as she'd made him feel earlier but all he could get out was, "condom?"

"I'm on the pill."

Then her hand was on him and she was fitting him inside of her and grinding against him and he was lost. She circled her hips with her eyes closed and reached back to untie the halter of her dress, letting the top fall down.

"Touch me."

He wasn't sure she even knew what she was saying, she just planted her hands on his shoulder and raised up on her knees before falling back onto him and repeating the motion again and again only faster and harder until he felt like he was about to lose it again. Max knew he couldn't hold it back this time, couldn't summon up the will to make her stop so he spread his hands across her hips instead and let his thumbs meet in the middle at her clit. Used them to push the hood against the bundle of nerves it protected in deep circles. Each going in the opposite direction and then she was moaning long and low and tightening up on him and he couldn't stop himself.

She was naked and wet and he was inside of her and she coming on top of him and he couldn't stop.

He rubbed her harder and she started to shake and he let it go. Groaned and watched her through hooded lids as she shook and panted before lying down on top of him.

"I love you," she muttered into his shoulder, already falling asleep.

"I love you too," he said, tired himself but wanting to get her in the bed before he let himself.

He laid her down and went to lie on his side facing her, "what about Kyle," she was already in that half awake, half asleep place and he didn't want to bother her but he had to know.

"I haven't spoken to him a while," she yawned, "I'm going to break up with him."

He wanted to argue but bite it back and nodded, "okay."

-0-

Max stood on the side of Roswell High right out of the sightline of Kyle and Liz who were currently arguing in the parking lot. He's wanted to be there just in case something happened, but Liz had assured him that Kyle was a stand up guy and wouldn't do anything to hurt her. He'd nodded and hugged her then did just as he wanted because he knew how upset he would be if he'd lost Liz.

Kyle threw his hands up and started to walk away when Liz stopped him and started talking, pulling him to look at her. They spoke for a while and her grip turned into a comforting caress as he nodded and pulled her toward him for a hug.

Max felt the hair on his neck rising, his hands turning into fists and even though the better part of himself knew this was just a good bye embrace, the other part saw his girlfriend in some other guys arms and he was striding across the parking lot and pulling Kyle off before he could re-think it.

"Max?"

He ignored Liz's shout and Kyle's confused expression. Just pulled his arm back and landed one right in the center of the other boys face. There was spurt of blood and Liz screamed high while throwing her hands over her face but the Max she knew was gone.

This was Hanks boy.

The one who knew if you wanted to keep something, you had to fight to protect it and he was willing to do anything to keep her. Kept punching even though Kyle wasn't trying to fight back until someone bigger came and pulled him off. He saw Liz leaning over Kyle and crying when Principal Lyndon stepped into his view with hard eyes. "We're going to go have a talk in my office Mr. Guerin."

-0-

Max sat in the dark in Michael's room as Diane, Phillip and Hank talked downstairs.

He turned when there was a knock on the window and seriously considered not opening it when he saw Liz's face. She knocked again and he sighed as he got up to pull it open. She climbed in and looked at him angrily for a moment before slapping him across the face.

"I told you I could handle it Max," she said angrily, "They're saying you've been kicked out. That they aren't going to let you graduate."

"They aren't," he replied flatly. "Lyndon said that since I was missing so much school and I already had disciplinary problems he wasn't going to try and work with me anymore."

Her anger faded away and she looked at him with a sad face.

"Who cares," he said flippantly while turning away, the last thing he wanted from her was pity. "Even if I graduated what I was going to do?"

"Anything."

"Come on Liz. I know you love me but you're not stupid."

She didn't say anything, just looked away so he continued. "Hank is down there losing his shit and I can't deal with him for another year."

"What do you mean," she asked lowly.

"I'm leaving."

There silence between them while she studied him, trying to see if he was telling the truth.

"Bring me with you," she said quietly.

"Liz…"

"I don't want to be anywhere you're not."

"What about Harvard? That's your dream."

"Dreams change."

He watched her, trying to gauge her seriousness, "are you sure?"

She smiled and threw herself into his arms. "I've never been surer about anything."

Something told him that this was wrong but he smiled and ignored it as he hugged her to him.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know what happened out there."

"You're a jealous asshole that's what happened," she said on a quiet laugh.

He pulled away and brushed the hair from her face, "how's Kyle?"

Liz looked down and traced the lines on his left hand, "you broke his nose but other than that you're alright. Valenti wanted to press charges but Kyle won't cooperate and without a victim there's no case."

He nodded gently, "Thanks."

"He's not doing it for me. He knows what's happening with your dad and he's… got something new going on in his personal life so he decided to let you go. Nobody gets better in jail"

He smiled absently. "Are you absolutely sure that you want to leave with me?"

"Stop asking me that."

"Alright," he said on a laugh, "meet me at the Desert Rose tomorrow at two okay?"

She nodded and he led her to the window before opening it and helping her out, "Kiss me."

She smiled big and pulled his mouth against hers before separating with a big smack, "see you then."

He watched her climb down the trellis and disappeared around the corner before closing the window behind her.

"What are you doing Max?"

He turned when he heard Dianne's question. "We're down there, trying to talk your dad into letting us take you and you're up here planning to leave."

"Dianne…"

She put her hand up to quiet him. "I love you Max. You've got to know that by now right?"

He nodded.

"What do you think you've got to offer that girl? Where do you think you two are going to live? How are you going to support her when neither of you even have a high school degree?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Tons of people don't have a degree and they do just fine."

"Yeah, working at McDonald's or being a janitor for the rest of their lives and there's nothing wrong with those two things. They're both ways to make an honest living but don't you think you deserve more than that? Don't you think Liz can have more than that?"

He didn't respond and she just kept on talking.

"You'll be living in a one room apartment with 3 kids by the time you're 30 and she'll hate you. She'll resent you because she'll know what she could've been."

"She loves me."

Dianne nodded, moving back towards the door. "Right now she does but will she still feel that way when you guys can't afford to eat? You'll do what you want, you always have, but I hope you'll think of someone else first for a change."

**Present Day**

"I drove by that hotel about ten times before I decided that she was right."

He looked at Liz's emotionless face. "Please say something."

"You have no idea what…" she closed her eyes and shook her head while motioning for the waitress."Can I get a to go box?"

The girl nodded and scampered off to get it.

"Tell me what I have no idea about," he pleaded, trying to get her to stay so they could finally have this out, finally put it behind them.

"I'd rather not," she placed her wrap in the box and got up to leave when he stopped her.

"Well what happens now then?"

She didn't even look at him, just shook her head, "I don't know." with that she walked out the door.


	9. Part Nine

**Part Nine**

**Roswell, New Mexico: Ten Years Prior **

**

* * *

**

"Where do you think you're going?"

Liz tensed at the voice before turning slowly and meeting her stepfather, Paul's, eyes.

"I'm leaving."

They looked at each other for a moment before he called out to her mother, never taking his eyes from hers, "Nancy, I think you need to get here quick honey."

Liz twitched; fighting the urge she had to run down the stairs and out of the apartment before her mother could get here. That would be the easier way to go but Liz was done with taking to road most traveled.

She'd been done with that since she decided to take Max on.

Nancy slowly walked out her room, putting an earring on with an indiscernible expression, until she saw the suitcase. Her gate slowed to a stop, "What's going on?"

"Liz says she's leaving."

A small smile curved the corners of her mouth. "To go where?"

"Away from here," the brunette said quickly, not liking the looks on their face.

"With that boy?"

Liz turned toward her stepfather with surprise.

"It's gotten everywhere that he was expelled and now, all of a sudden, you're talking about leaving. It's pretty obvious you two have made some sort of plans."

Nancy stepped forward with a sympathetic look and touched her daughter's shoulder. "Tell me that's not true."

Liz shook the hand away and stood taller when everything in her was saying to shrink back, "It is true."

Paul and Nancy looked at one another and laughed gently and that was the last straw. Their daughter picked up her bags and started her way down the staircase.

"Liz honey, don't be stupid. What about Harvard?"

"There are other schools," she replied, not even turning around, unwilling to giving to them a second glance.

Nancy hurried down the stairs and stepped in front of her, "Are you serious?"

Liz looked at her then, "I love him and I'm leaving."

She watched understanding down on her mother's face. Understanding and disbelief, "I'll be here when you come back…"

"I'm not coming back," but Nancy kept on going as if she hadn't spoken a word.

"Because that's what parents are for."

Liz pushed past her and made her way to the door stepping out into the sunlight.

"When you fall on your face, I'll be here to put you back together," Nancy yelled but Liz wasn't listening anymore.

**Day One**

Liz dragged her suitcase into The Desert Rose with a sweaty face and a smile.

This was it.

This was the day that she would finally be able to be with the only man she'd ever loved. She plopped down on the side of the bed, contemplated taking a shower before Max got there and decided against it. She smiled naughtily, he would need to wash down too when he got there, might as well conserve water.

**Day Two**

She felt fear niggling her from the back of her brain but ignored it. She'd been trying to call him all yesterday and this morning with no answer. She thought about calling the hospitals but didn't because she was too afraid of what she might hear.

"He probably just got caught up in something," she said lowly. "He'll be here soon."

**Day Three**

"You really need to call me Max alright."

She hung the phone up harder than she had yesterday during her calls to him and went to the lobby to find a phone book. The fear that had been at the back of her mind the day before was now at the forefront of her conscientiousness and no matter how afraid she was, she had to know what had happened to him. Liz went to her room and sat on the edge of the bed and called Roswell Regional.

"Hello," she said with a shake in her voice when they answered. "Was a Maxwell Evans admitted to this hospital sometime within the last 3 days?"

She let out a sigh of relief when the answer came back in the negative. "Thank you."

She hung up ran her finger down the page in the yellow book and picked out another number.

**Day Four**

"You need to pick up your fucking phone," he hadn't been admitted to any hospitals or arrested. She slammed it down harder this time than she had the two days prior and breathed hard with wide eyes. The fear that had been consuming her lately was being replaced by something else.

A realization.

A realization that there was something worse than his death.

His being alive.

**Day Five**

Liz had never felt so empty of any emotion in her entire life, just laid on her back across the bed and watched the water stain on her ceiling widen in diameter every day. The phone rang for the first time during her stay and something inside of her stuttered. She raised herself up and looked at it with narrowed eyes.

It was him.

There was no way she should be so sure of that but she was, got into a seated position, picked it up and let it hover over the base before slamming it back down, picking it up again and calling the front desk.

"Good morning. May I have the number for a taxi company?"

Liz dragged her things through the Crashdown's front door and ran into her mother and father in the break room getting ready to open for the day.

They didn't say anything and Liz almost breathed a sigh of relief before Nancy spoke up. "Your exam is tomorrow. Study hard honey."

* * *

**Present Day**

**

* * *

**

"Liz?"

She shook herself out of her thoughts and looked at James.

"Yes?"

He laughed nervously and touched her forehead. "Are you okay? I've been calling you for five minutes."

"I'm fine," she said quickly, moving out from under his grasp and starting to apply her eyeliner, "I was just thinking is all."

"About turning the big two seven?"

"Exactly," she lied with a laugh. "When did I get so old?"

"You're the most beautiful old lady I've ever seen," he remarked, looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Thank you," she replied, smiling.

He sat at the foot of the bed and watched her apply her makeup. "Did you invite Max?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

She put her long-last lipstick down and turned toward him. "Would you have preferred I hadn't?"

"No," he said quickly, "but I know you two had a falling out."

"She waved that off and turned back toward the mirror, "we have a complicated relationship but I…he's my friend and I want him at my birthday.

"Okay, but we have to get a move or we're going to be late."

She threw her makeup into a small clutch and spun around in the black tube dress that hit her at the mid thigh she had brought specially for this occasion. "How do I look?"

He let his eyes drift from the curls at the top of her head to the red painted tips of her toes and she felt herself tingle,

"Fabulous."

"Just what I wanted to hear."

-0-

"And you know this girl from high school?"

Max realized he was shredding the napkin he'd been given in his hand and made an effort to stop, "Yes. Haven't I said this like five times already?"

She rolled her eyes at his prickly demeanor and glanced out the window. The invitation had said to meet at Restaurant August at seven and they'd been here since 6:15. She looked at him and noticed his nervousness.

"There was nothing else between you two?

He turned to her quickly, "why would you think that?"

"Because we got here 45 minutes early and you've shredded that napkin so small it could be snow. Why are you so nervous?"

He was about to say something when a pretty blond girl and a tall blond man sat down beside him. The same pretty girl who'd been singing in the nightclub the second time he'd seen Liz, the same pretty girl who had been working the desk at Pfizer and Eliza's small gasp confirmed it.

"Maria."

It wasn't a question but she answered it like it was. "That's me. How you been Max?"

"Well, and you?"

She shrugged and took a sip of water. "Pretty good, how's Michael?"

His eyes widened at the memory that those two _had_ indeed dated for awhile. "He's good."

"Sorry to cut in," Eliza said breathlessly, "but I love your music…"

"Thank you," Maria replied with a genuine smile.

"I had no idea you two knew one another."

"We didn't really," she said slowly. "We just ran in the same circles in high school."

Maria turned back to Max then. "Will you tell Michael I said hello?" He wanted to ask her what had happened between them, from what he could remember, Michael had liked this girl, but they didn't know each other well and he didn't want to overstep his bounds.

Eliza elbowed him in the side and cleared her throat. "Oh," he said, "of course I will," but then Liz was walking through the door and all of his attention was focused on her. He didn't see his date's narrowed eyes and frown as he moved to pull out Liz's chair.

They all smiled and sat as Maria introduced her date, Dave Strong, and Max introduced his, Eliza Sands. They all shook hands and smiled and ordered drinks and appetizers and Max pretended like he wasn't sizing James up or watching the way Liz would lean into him as he slung his arm along the back of her chair and whispered in her ear.

He pretended he wasn't jealous and that he wasn't looking for a reaction out of Liz when he pushed the hair out of Eliza's face and smiled. It was petty and stupid, she hadn't spoken to him for two weeks after that debacle of a lunch and he should be happy with what he had. Eliza was a great girl and Liz seemed happy with this James guy but he couldn't stop himself.

He watched her eyes flit toward him over the course of the dinner, watched her expression get more and more annoyed.

"It's time for presents right," Maria asked too loudly with a laugh sucking down her third midori sour.

"Sure, we can do that now."

Everyone let out a whoop of happy drunkenness and pulled out their gifts. Maria gave Liz a green cashmere scarf, and James gave her a beautiful diamond bracelet. Max was suddenly feeling nervous as Liz hugged her boyfriend with a happily surprised smile after she opened his present.

"I've been saving up since last year."

She kissed him on the lips. "Thank you I love it."

He considered telling her he hadn't been able to choose a gift on the short notice he'd been given about his invite but decided against it.

"Here you go."

She opened the gift and didn't say anything for a second.

James looked down on it with raised eyebrows. "My Girl? Liz, you like that movie?"

"Why…," she said without continuing because he spoke over her.

"Because I know you."

The jovial aura of the able felt as though it had been sucked into a black hole at his words. Everyone was quiet, suspicious eyes darting between the two when Liz stood quickly and made an excuse abut going to the bathroom.

James was about to follow her when Max intercepted him. "I said something to her, let me go and fix it?"

The red head looked like he wanted to protest but replied, "alright,' and hesitantly took a seat instead.

-0-

Max stood outside the women's bathroom and decided he was going to apologize for his behavior tonight. He honestly hadn't come out here to try and win her back or make her jealous but…Then she was exiting into the hallway and he had her up against the wall and all his good intentions flew out the window.

"What are you do…"

And he was kissing her and she was kissing him back.

This was self destructive behavior.

This was selfish behavior.

This was Max at 17 behavior.

He should've backed off but he bent his knee and pushed it between her thighs instead. "When does James go to work?"

"Nine," as soon as she said it, he could see the regret. "Not that I'm saying you can come over or anything…"

"Call off work tomorrow."

This was crazy, Dr. Culling was not going to like what he was going to be told in their weekly meeting but Max didn't care.

"I will do no such thing," she replied indignantly, pushing herself against him, panting.

"Where do you hide your key?"

That seemed to pull her out of her fog and she pushed him away. "We're not doing this Max. I have James and you have Eliza and we're happy. Let's not fuck this up okay."

He looked at her and swallowed, really hearing her and felt embarrassed as hell over his actions. "You're right, I'm sorry."

She was about to say something else when…

"Liz? Max?"

They looked over to see James at the end of the hall watching them curiously. Liz shut her mouth and went to take his hand. "I'm alright, just had a bit too much to drink. I was feeling a little nauseous."

He started to look between the two of them again when she abruptly began dragging him back to the table without waiting for a reply. Max following behind quietly and the three of them sat down.

"So," Liz said, picking up her menu. "Who wants desert?"


	10. Part Ten

_Author's Note__: This chapter contains Adult Content._

_

* * *

_

**Part Ten**

**

* * *

**

"What was that?"

Max didn't reply because he was hoping she would let it go, just tossed his coat over the back of a chair and made his way to his bedroom, threw himself across the foot of the bed and clicked on the T.V.

Eliza stomped after him and stood in front of the set.

"Could you move over," he asked after moving his head from side to side and not finding a suitable view.

She turned and clicked the T.V. off.

"What do you want," he asked quietly, resigned.

"I want you to be honest with me. How do you know that girl?"

He sighed and looked up at her, "I've known her from before high school. We were best friends."

"Why did you stop talking then?"

He shook his head and pulled himself into a seated position. "It was for the best."

"What does that mean!"

"None of your business," it wasn't the nicest response but it got his point across and he didn't like how she seemed so entitled about knowing his motivations.

"How is this none of my business," she scoffed.

"Since we're sharing today," he said, avoiding her question, "when we first starting seeing one another and I said I didn't want anything serious and you agreed were you being truthful to me?"

She took an involuntary step back, "well…I…"

"It's a simple question Eliza, were you being truthful? Because that's why it's none of your business. We are not a couple. I think you're a nice girl but…," he shook his head and changed course. Things were getting heated but he really did like this woman and contrary to his behavior tonight, he didn't want to hurt her.

"I don't have to share my thoughts with you," he finished decisively.

She put her hands on her hips, "but you do want to share them with that Elizabeth huh?"

"Stay in your lane Eliza," he said through clenched teeth.

"Ohhhh," her eyes widened and she smirked. "I hit on something there did I?"

"Leave it alone," he replied sternly, walking from the room and entering the kitchen.

She followed close behind, "Her boyfriends going to be a lawyer, why would she leave him for a gardener?"

She looked him over with a curled lip, "A fucked up gardener at that!"

He concentrated on breathing in and out, not getting riled up. "You don't know her."

"But I know you," she replied, the sarcastic knife edge of her voice turned dull and with her next remark left a jagged cut. "The only thing you know how to do right is fuck. Liz seems like she may want more than that now."

A million possible responses flew through his mind in an instant. Words that would hurt her just as much as she was trying to hurt him. Words that would have her questioning herself long after she'd left his presence, he thought about letting them all fly, about throwing it all at her just to see who would come out the other side the least bloody.

He closed his eyes and counted backwards from 10, just like Dr. Culling had taught him, before opening them again.

"I know you thought that when we started seeing each other, I would see the awesome person you are and change my mind about being together. I know you thought you could love me into a better person but you can't."

She looked confused by the sudden shift in conversation and took a step back as though he'd pushed her away.

"I told you I didn't want something serious but when I felt like you weren't listening to that, I should have done more to make you believe me."

Her mouth turned down and her eyelids lowered as she leaned against the wall.

"I disrespected you and everyone else at the party tonight and I'm so sorry. I didn't go there to do that but it happened because that girl is the reason I couldn't ever open up to you. I've loved her since I was a kid and I thought maybe it wouldn't matter as much anymore because it had been so long since we'd seen each other but…," he shook his head and closed his eyes, imagined Liz's face.

"I love her just as much now as I did then."

"Shut up," she said lowly, tears starting to overtake the boundaries of her lids and spill down her cheeks. "If you loved that girl you'd see how much she likes her boyfriend and let her go. You'd move on."

He smiled softly at that and thought about trying to comfort her for a moment before deciding to stay exactly where he was,

"Someone else told me that same exact thing once."

"Well you should listen."

"I did then. I'm not going to now."

She shook her head in disbelief while grabbing up her purse. "You're selfish."

"I'm sorry."

She turned around with a watery smile. "Fuck you," and with that she walked across the threshold and slammed the door behind her.

Max stood there after she left and took a deep breath. He felt awful for the way things had gone down but he also felt lighter than he had in years.

-0-

Liz pulled her headphones from her ears and narrowed her eyes, trying to hear if someone was in the house.

"James?"

She listened for a second before turning back to the computer and starting to put her headphones back in.

"You should find a new place to put these."

She was so frightened by the sudden voice she couldn't even scream, just spun around and gasped as Max leaned in the doorway with a smile. He showed her the key before tossing it on the bed. She put her hand to her chest and watched him enter the room with the confidence of someone who lived there and sat on the end closest to her.

"What are you doing here," she asked lowly.

"The question is, what are _you_ doing here?"

"This is my house," she responded indignantly.

"Why aren't you at work?"

_James put his hand to her forehead and frowned. "You don't feel hot."_

_She coughed pathetically. "I feel out of it though, I'm just going to call off."_

_"I can too; I'll stay and take…"_

_"That's alright," she cut in quickly. "Go to work, I'll be here when you get back."_

"I don't feel well," she stammered out guiltily.

He touched her forehead with the back of his hand before she pulled away. "You feel alright to me."

"How would you know how I feel," she asked sulkily, wondering why she was here as well. It would have been so easy, so easy to pretend that she hadn't heard him at her party last night. Just go to work like usual and when he came in, he would have found an empty house and left her alone. She would probably marry James within the next 2 years and this would all be a memory.  
Instead, she called in sick, just like he had told her to, and waited for him.

He leaned back on his forearms and watched her pretend to work, "Liz…"

"You really scared the hell out of me."

"I didn't mean to," he said quickly, happy she was speaking to him at all.

"How did you even know they were there?"

"That's where you found mine."

Her fingers hesitated for a moment before moving again.

"You remember?"

She didn't respond.

He watched her back before moving to a standing position, losing some confidence. "Do you not want me here?"

"Well," she said slowly while spinning around to face him, "You broke into my house and now you're sitting there like you belong here so what do you think?"

He looked at her like he was searching for some truth in her eyes that she wasn't telling him but little did he know she had become schooled in control long ago and neatly kept her features clear. His face fell and she could almost see him shrink back into himself.

"I thought…when I didn't see you leave his morning that you had agreed last night."

"You thought wrong."

He looked shocked and a part of her took that as a small victory, he didn't know her as well as he thought he did.

His mouth fell open before he closed it quickly, "I'll let you go then," and that phrase meant so much more than what was happening between them right now. It meant their past as well as whatever future they would have had from this moment on and she watched him as he turned his back and walked out of the bedroom and through the kitchen and pause at the door. Maybe waiting for her to say something, anything, and she didn't, she watched him disappear through that door and out of her life.

Liz's heart was pounding in her chest, her eyes were wide and unblinking, her breath was coming out in big gulps and she was out of the apartment and running down the hall before all the reasons why this shouldn't be happening could stop her. She ran to the elevator and quickly scanned the sign taped to the doors:

Out of Order

before she quickly made her way to the stairs. She breathlessly descended two flights before hearing someone else below her.

"Max," she yelled, hoarse from the tears blinding her vision, and tightening her throat.

From the hope that was suddenly present in her heart.

"Liz?"

She looked down the center of the stairwell to see him looking back up at her and smiled broadly. "Wait for me."

His mouth move to speak but she didn't wait to hear the words, just kept descending the staircase, kept going deeper into the rabbit hole. Fighting her burning muscles and parched lungs and the conscience that was screaming at her to remember James and all she was on the precipice of losing but those thoughts weren't able to keep pace with her any longer. By the time she made it to the third floor and saw the timid but hopeful look in his eyes all she could do was stand on the tip of her toes and whisper breathlessly, "I'm not really sick," before touching her lips to his.

-0-

They fell back into her apartment with a laugh and Max started to pull up the oversized shirt she was wearing.

"Wait," she said quickly, some semblance of reality returning. "Do you have protection?"

He scrunched his face up. "No, you don't?"

"I'm in a committed relationship."

When he raised his eyebrows at that and she ignored him. "I'm on the pill but you know," she raised her hands and dropped them just as quickly, "there's been ten years of different partners between us and I don't think it would be…"

"You're right," he replied and nudged her toward a chair. "There are other things we could do."

Max put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down.

"Well no sexual conduct is really safe when you haven't been tested," she said scandalized, the scientist inside her breaking free.

He got to his knees before her with a scowl. "Let me worry about that."

When she was about protest, the words stopped in her throat as his face transformed into someone younger, less experienced, someone eager to please.

"I've never really done this to anyone before. Other girls never let me get this close."

Her hips pushed towards him of their own volition at those oh so familiar words and if she had been in her right mind, she would have seen the knowledgeable grin of the grown man he had become flit across his features but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared and she was still occupied with other things.

"You can tell me what to do," he went on, adding a slight treble to his voice as he pushed the old T shirt up and revealed her white cotton panties. "No black lace?"

"I wasn't sure I wanted company."

"But you are now."

She wasn't sure if he was telling her or asking for confirmation so she didn't say anything, just licked her lips in anticipation and he let it go. Peeled the offending material away from her instead and wrapped his arms around her thighs to pull her closer and open her up. The way he was staring at her should have made her uncomfortable but it only worked to turn her on more and when he finally touched her she let out the breath she wasn't aware she had been holding.

"You can tell me when to go faster and when to slow down, tell me when I'm making you feel good."

She looked down to see his face flushed red and his breath was a pant almost as deep as hers. It seemed he was enjoying this almost as much as she was and when Liz was about say something cheeky about it to him he gave her a stiff lick and every thought in her mind flew out of it. She tensed and breathed in, her hands grabbing at the fabric on either arm when she really wanted to grab the back of his head and take control of the pace. Push herself against him harder and faster but then he was sucking and she let out a high pitched sound and let her face fall to the side only to open her eyes and see the smiling face of one James Dempsey, and herself when they'd gone to Virginia the first year they were dating. She moved to sit up a little and Max reached up to push the photo face down.

She shook her head, all those thoughts about how wrong this was finally catching up. "I can't."

"Why," he asked casually with no hint of anger. He just reached his hand around the thigh that was currently across his shoulder and gave her clit a deep fast rub and she quieted down because there were star bursts of pleasure going off in her abdomen.

"…Boyfriend," she said quickly, trying to get him on her side, trying to get him to be the one to stop them because it was looking less and less likely that she was going to.

"Had one of those the first time too, didn't bother you then."

She started to sit up, indignant that he would say that even if it was true, when he moved back up and playfully bit at her neck. She pushed him away, "No, I'm mad at you," but she was already melting into his embrace and forgetting why she'd stopped him in the first place.

"…make you feel better," he muttered more to himself than to her and he sucked her into his mouth again and she laid back and tried to fight the urge she had to squeeze him between her thighs, pull the sensations in, make it go faster.

She let her eyes drift down and when their gazes met she looked away again. That was too raw, too real for her to take right now so when he started running his hands down her sides, across her chest, down the inside of her thighs with the slightest bit of pressure from his nails she welcomed the extra sliver of tension that added.

She focused on the feeling of the tips of his fingers and how the ball of heat in her stomach seemed to send tendrils of pleasure out to meet them. Liz breathed and felt those tendrils intensifying and she gave into the urge to grasp him between her thighs as she pushed up and felt the heat in her gut spread outward like an electric wave.

Some part of her was aware that he would need to breath at some point in the near future but he wasn't trying to get free, was just sucking harder and she felt that wave building up again before disappearing. She was breathing hard and basking in the afterglow when he pulled away from her.

"Oh God," she said, genuinely upset but unwilling to move, "I meant to let you go."

"You did," he asked with a smile as he rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand.

She shrugged and he started looking around, "what time is it?"

She glanced to the side, "1:10."

"You have any toys around here?"

She scoffed, "why would there be toys here?"

"Not the kind for kids."

She looked up, so shocked by the question it took her 20 seconds to stammer out a reply, "I would never…"

"You had one in high school."

"How did…I did not!"

"You left me alone a lot in your room and I didn't snoop but I did look around."

She pursed her mouth, a little embarrassed that he knew about that.

He moved up her body slowly, "Come on Liz," Max whispered quietly against her ear, "I wanna see if I can make you do that again."

She had been considering lying but then thought, what the hell, in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Third shoebox from the bottom, left side of the closet."


	11. Part Eleven

**Part Eleven**

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**

"You've missed your last two sessions."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

Dr. Culling narrowed his eyes at the ghost of a smile playing around the corners of his patient's mouth but decided not to push harder for any answers. If he knew one thing about Max by now, it was that leaning on him didn't get him to open up any quicker.

He took a deep breath instead, settled deeper into his seat, "how has work been?"

He gave that enigmatic smile again. "I finished a little while ago. I'm just floating until I pick something else up."

The doctor nodded again and jotted something down on his notepad. "You sure that's a good idea?"

He shrugged noncommittally, "what?"

"Not taking another job right away."

"Why would it be?"

"Idol hands are the devils workshop."

That got a laugh from and Dr. Culling watched him closer, curious about what was going on.

"Indeed they are."

He that, "how's school been?"

Max's face softened in thought, "what?"

"School. How's it been going?"

He folded his arms across his chest, closing himself off, and the doctor made sure to take note of that as well.

"Well."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You were going to say something else about university."

When Max looked as though he was going to brush his concerns off, he went on, "you have to stay open with me if this therapy is going to be at all beneficial to you."

There was quiet for a moment, "I know," his patient replied softly, "I've just missed the last few days."

"How many?"

"Four maybe."

"Max…"

"What," he asked with a hard edge, "I've missed 4 days in the whole time I've been there, I think I'll be alright."

"It's not that, it's that you had a routine. You never missed school or work or a session and suddenly you're doing all three. You have to understand why that would worry me."

"I saw Liz."

Dr. culling looked up at him, not understanding the sudden shift in conversation, "what?"

"I saw Elizabeth Parker again a little while ago."

The older man sat back then and adjusted the thin rimmed glasses on his face, trying to think of what to say. "How did that make you feel?"

"Crazy," and there was a faraway look in the boys eyes that concerned the older man but he let him go on.

"Like I'd never left her presence, like I was just in love as I'd ever been. I felt like I was 17 again watching her go into her honors and AP classes while I stood out in the hall trying to find the right moment so I could cut school."

Max laughed and started to relax again, "I felt like no time had passed, like I still knew her."

Concern had officially grown into slight alarm but he didn't show it, just went on, "what does this have to do with you missing all of your appointments?"

"Well," he said slowly, "I was at her birthday party one night and the other three days I was too busy thinking about her or walking around hoping to run into her."

"Maxwell I…"

"Uh oh… "He cut in, "you're calling me Maxwell, something's wrong."

"No, not yet anyway, you have to promise not to get any more involved with her than a friendly association."

"Why?"

"You seem to be moving back slightly, missing school…that's something you were doing when I first met you. Things you had grown out of and it worries me…"

Max shook his head and cut in, "it's too late for that."

"Why is it too late?"

"I came here from her house."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we're back together and that's how it's going to stay," he said firmly, then continued as if it had just crossed his mind,

"and I'm not regressing. I missed a few days because I was busy doing something else. Nothing more, nothing less."

"What about Eliza?"

"We're done."

"Just like that?"

He shrugged, "it was hard but I told her from the beginning I wasn't looking for anything serious."

"And Liz is free?"

"….Yes."

"Why the hesitation?"

He opened his mouth before shutting it.

"Maxwell…"

"She will be very soon."

"You're repeating the same things that you did when you were 17."

"Maybe we are," he replied after a moment's thought, "but it won't end the same because I love her. I always have and I'm not letting anyone talk me out of doing what we both want."

"I'm not trying to talk you out of it," he said slowly, "I just want you to promise to think before you act and to not return to bad habits. I want you to be happy and it seems being with Liz makes you happy."

He stopped, trying to make him understand, "I want you two to have a healthy relationship this time around."

Max watched him tensely before he sighed and nodded.

"Could you bring her here? I would really like to talk to her."

"I'll see," he got up to leave when the doctor stopped him in the doorway.

"How can you be sure she's going to end it."

He smiled, "because she loves me and she promised

-0-

James stepped quietly into the front room of his apartment feeling a trepidation he couldn't quite understand. He glanced around the room quickly and frowned as he moved toward the armchair in the corner, picked up the picture he'd just had framed of he and Liz in Virginia, ignored the uneasy feeling in his gut as he placed it right side up again.

"Liz?"

When there was no answer he narrowed his eyes and surveyed the room again, everything was as it was supposed to be, nothing looked damaged or like it had been thrown around but something was off. Something was making the little hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Even though everything looked right, something was wrong and with that thought he quickly moved out of the entryway and into the kitchen to see Liz standing in a white gown washing the dishes.

He sighed; waiting to feel reassured and was disappointed when that feeling didn't come. Something about this tableau struck him as false even though he'd walked up on her doing the dishes hundreds of times before. He wanted to back out of the kitchen before she caught wind of his presence, go back to work, pretend like he had never come home for his lunch break to check up on her but then it was too late. She began to turn around and he could make out the big smile on her face but she stopped before her body was totally facing him. Only caught his eyes after what seemed like an intense internal struggle.

"How was work?"

Her look was too artfully blank, the smile too wide and suddenly his heart was pounding in his chest.

"What's wrong?"

She took a step back, "what do you mean?"

"Something's wrong."

Her face took on the look of a trapped animal and he walked across the floor and grabbed her upper arms, not wanting to hurt her but wanting to end the dread he felt building up inside of him.

"I love you. Just tell me what it is."

She looked up then and smiled gently, "James…"

"Liz…" he cut her off but let his own idea trail off unfinished, it had something to do with _him_.

With Max.

He knew it then with just as much conviction as he would have if she had told him herself.

He thought back to the perfectly placed living room.

Their picture's face down on the table.

James looked back at her then, his face scrunched up, his hands tightened on her arms, his mouth opened to speak and…

"What's wrong with you," she asked a little too loudly as she pulled out of his grasp and leaned against the counter top.

He looked at her, breathing hard, "something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," she replied quickly, swallowing and moving toward him, "I made you a piece of chicken and a baked potato though.

"That's all?" He took a breath and shook his head, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she replied breathlessly.

It was a lie but he smiled and laughed like it wasn't.

"I thought…"

"Sit down," she said quickly, moving to pull the kitchen chair out and push him into it.

She moved to the fridge and poured him some water, placed it in his hand, urged him to take a drink.

He did, gratefully, and smiled up at her in relief, "I was so scared. I saw…and you."

"It's alright," she said and he pretended not to see the sadness she was barely capable of hiding.

"I…"

"I would never want to hurt you," she said out of nowhere, pulling him into a hug.

He leaned into it and disregarded the faint whiff of a cologne he didn't wear in her hair, must just be a figment of his overactive imagination.

"Tell me you love me."

She stiffened up but didn't let go, "James…"

"Please just tell me," and his voice was so quiet.

She started to run her hand up and down his back and he felt sudden wetness on the shoulder of his shirt, "I love you James."

-0-

"Did you tell him?"

She didn't say anything, just threw her purse down before looking up at his expectant face. "He knows," then stopped, "…I'm pretty sure he does anyway."

"What does that mean? Didn't you tell him?"

She covered her face and sighed.

"Goddamn it Liz!"

"I know," she replied, moving towards him and pulling him into her embrace knowing he couldn't deny her that. "He was just…I think he knows but he looked so hurt. He's a good man Max, I don't want to hurt him anymore."

"So you're just going to stay with him them? Don't you know you're hurting me?"

"You're stronger than he is!"

"Come on!"

"Just…give me a day or two okay? I have to think of the best way to break this to him."

He turned his back then, angry.

"I'm not leaving you," she tried to sooth him. "I'm in love you but I've been with him for a while and I want to do as right by him as possible."

He was yielding. He knew it and she knew it, "Just give me until tomorrow okay?"

"It didn't take me that long to cut Eliza Loose."

"That girl," she said with emphasis, "was someone you were sleeping with, not someone you lived with, paid bills with, and shared a bed with. She wasn't someone you would have married."

He pulled away then and looked at her sharply. "That's funny that you say that because you're right. I would have never married her or anyone else. I haven't had a real relationship since us and look at you, all ready to get married to…whoever."

He had contemplated that fact before but he never realized how angry it made him. That he was so replaceable to her. That she cared even a little how James would fare after she was gone.

She balled up her fists. "It's different."

"How?"

"You know."

"No I don't!"

"You left me!"

Their back and forth had gotten progressively louder with each reply but stopped dead at her words.

"You left me," she whispered this time. Looking up at him with big, distrustful, wounded eyes and he felt taken aback by her sudden outrage, her sudden emotion where he was beginning to think there was none.

"I had to," he stumbled.

"I don't want to hear about that," and he could practically hear the sneer in her voice as she, put her hand up to quiet him.

"But that's the truth! I asked you that day at Dizzies to talk to me and you wouldn't." he moved toward her. "Talk to me Liz."

She shook her head and ran her fingers along his ribcage, pulled him closer, stood on tip toes to try and get at his neck. He put his hands over hers, thinking he should stop her but denying the impulse, "we need to talk. We'll never work this out until we do," and his voice came out huskier than what he would have liked.

"I don't wanna talk," she whispered, biting at the tendon connecting his neck to his shoulder.

"I'm angry at you," he replied and was surprised by how true it was. He had been the one to leave but the thought that she was doing so well without him, that he wasn't the only man she could love…

"I know," she said, throwing his thoughts off track, and moving away to lean her back against the bar. "Touch me anyway."


	12. Part Twelve

_Author's Note__- This chapter contains Adult Content_

_

* * *

_

**Part 12**

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* * *

**

She only had to wait a moment before he started toward her slowly.

Liz felt her heart beat ratchet up and her abdomen tighten in response to his nearness, the heated look in his eyes.

"Max…" she said lowly but he didn't respond, just let his left arm slide around her waist and dragged her closer to him. A shaft of arousal shot through her stomach and she licked her lips, trying to calm down. He hadn't even really touched her yet, not to mention that he'd just given three orgasms not 2 hours ago but you'd think she hadn't had any in over a year with the way she was reacting to him.

"Max…,"

"Turn around," he cut in and Instead of finishing her thought she did what he asked.

"Put your hands on the bar."

She did it without a second thought.

Let him push her forward until she hit the bar and it began biting into her stomach gently. The memory of her first kiss with Kyle drifted into her mind, then he let one of the hands resting on hips glide up toward her breast and she wasn't thinking about much of anything now except _more_.

And he gave it to her.

Slid his hand over her left breast and squeezed her gently, then harder and she gasped and arched her back to bring him closer. He brought his free hand up under her arm and grasped the opposite shoulder effectively chaining her to him and she felt a delicious shiver start to buckle her knees. She knew he'd let her go, all she had to do was give the word, but she trusted him implicitly and the thought that she couldn't away didn't scare her.

It turned her on even more.

They'd only been together twice but he was usually so gentle, all soft caresses and loving looks that she'd dreamed of during his absence, but this was different. He was rougher, more dominant and it was just as good as when he was all about sweetness.

She took one of her hands from the bar and blindly reached back, it landed on his side before she let it slip down and grasp the buckle of his belt.

He groaned lowly, the first sound he'd made since he told her to put her hands down and pushed forward, rubbing himself against her lower back. She bit her lip and met his thrust with one of her own, let her hand slither up and shimmy into the waistband of his jeans. Max was panting now and so was she even though he'd been still ever since she touched him. She pushed herself against him, to get it back to work, and it jerked back to life slowly. He let his hand fall down her body and up her skirt, following her lead.

She spread her legs then, as wide as the stools and her own ability to stay standing allowed, and he took her position for the invitation it was. Ran the tip of his fingernail along the stretch of skin on her inner thigh that connected her pelvis to her leg and made the muscle there jump in his wake. She moaned and reached deeper until she could grasp him fully and he jerked like he'd touched a live wire, stopped teasing and just cupped her fully in his hand, gave her a strong circular rub and she let the top half of her body lay flat on the cool granite.

He moved closed and bent to mimic her 90 degree angled position, put his hand over her own and held it tightly. Liz used his closeness to get a better grip on him, stroked him once before she used the sticky liquid at his tip to try and smooth the way.

"Ohhhh Liz…"

And his voice was low and strained and awed and rough and she smiled as she stroked him again, harder this time. Closer, probably, to the way he touched himself and just thinking about that made her wetter. He must have noticed because he let out an appreciative groan and moved his hand inside of her panties. Slipped his hand past her clit and gathered some moisture before moving back up and using his middle and ring finger to rub her in _that_ spot.

She gasped, pushing herself down onto his hand shamelessly.

"Sometimes," he said as if his hand wasn't between her thighs, as if her own hand wasn't gripping him, "I think this all you want me for," and he punctuated the question by letting the tip of a finger penetrate her.

She wanted to disagree with him, turn around in his arms and tell him that he was the first person she ever cared about and that he would be the last as well but the hand that had been cradling hers this whole time had moved up to shoulder to pull down the side of her dress. He squeezed his hand in between the cool counter top and her skin to pinch her nipple slightly, then harder and then roll it and she realized he was right.

When his hands were on her that _was_ all she wanted from him and right now she wanted more.

He pulled her up, so she would lean against him, and reached past her head into a cabinet, pulling out a small square package and tearing it open with his teeth. She wanted to laugh at the knowledge that he kept condoms in his kitchen but then she felt him pulling her panties down and only taking time to free one leg, heard the tell tale descent of a zipper and then he lifted her leg until it was resting over a nearby stool to give himself some room to maneuver.

"I…"

"It's okay," he breathed out as he pushed himself between her thighs, slicking himself up before he began to push inside her.

"I don't have a good job or money but I have this and, if it's all you want from me, I'll give it to you."

He leaned forward a little, pushing her along with him, trying to get some leverage as he pushed inside her slowly and, when she began to relax, he was able to push a little deeper and begin a steady stroke, hooked his chin over her shoulder and put his elbow on the counter top to help him keep his purchase.

He slipped his free hand back between her legs and she grabbed his wrist, not trying to stop him or change the pace or even keep him there. She did it just to feel him, know it was him there. She slid the other one up to his neck and let her head lull back onto his shoulder.

"I do love you."

When he didn't react, she turned his face towards her. Close enough to see herself in his eyes, close enough to kiss.

"I love you and I want you for more than this," he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside of her then and she had to stop to get her bearings before continuing. "I've always wanted to be with you."

And he looked so goofily ecstatic about her pronouncement that she felt bad. Decided in that moment she'd tell Max she loved every time she saw him so he'd never doubt again. Began to say just that when he rubbed her clit so hard she knew she'd be sore later but right now all she saw was stars and slid down over the counter top, unable to hold herself up at the moment.

He didn't seem to mind the new position. Grabbed her shoulders and pumped faster and harder and then he was shaking and groaning real low and pulling her up to cuddle her closer to him, "I love you," he said after a moment, breathless.

"I'm gonna leave him tonight," she said slowly, "I'm not waiting, then I'm coming back to be with you."

He hugged her tighter and nipped at her neck, trying to hide his happiness, "alright. But I'm coming with you."

"No," she said quickly, pulling out of his grasp gently and turning toward him, trying to put herself back together. "I did this to him. I'll finish it."

He looked like he wanted to argue but tamped down on it. "Okay, I'll see you when you get back?"

She nodded in the affirmative and pulled him to her for a kiss before backing away.

"Can I use your bathroom?"

-0-

"You're leaving me."

She shrieked in her throat and turned toward the voice quickly and there James was, sitting in the front room waiting for her, sitting in the chair that she and Max had…

Liz shut the thought down quickly, almost afraid that he would be able to hear it.

"James?"

"You're leaving me," he repeated quietly and he didn't sound distressed or angry or happy or anything.

She closed the door behind her and tried to still herself against this conversation and build up her bravery.

"Yes. I'm leaving."

He was sitting in the dark so she flipped the switch on the wall next to her.

"It's Max right?"

She started and stopped twice before answering honestly. "Yes, it's Max."

He shook his head slowly and chuckled without mirth, "I pushed you to him."

"No," she said sternly, moving towards him, "you didn't have anything to do with it."

"I pushed you at him," he said continued, as if she hadn't spoken at all. "You said you didn't want to see him but I…"

"You didn't do anything. I should have told you earlier."

He turned on her angrily and she stepped back. "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't want…"

"I didn't ask you what you want," he yelled.

She leaned against the door. He'd never screamed at her, never raised his voice in an argument, never really got angry at all. They talked everything out when they had disagreements and this sudden change in tactics scared her a little.

"Not long."

"How long's not long," he asked, composed again.

"Since my birthday."

His eyes widened in shock. "When you ran from the table and he went after you…"

She didn't answer, just looked away but that was an answer in and of itself.

"Oh my God Liz."

"Please believe me when I say I loved you James."

"Loved," he snorted, emphasizing the past tense she'd used. "We haven't even broken up yet and I'm already in your rear view mirror."

"No," she was starting to cry even though she'd sworn to herself on the cab ride over that she wouldn't.

"Did you ever even love me," he was strangely calm again, like they were talking about what to eat tonight and not the demise of their 2 year relationship. She flashed back to Dizzies café when she asked Max an eerily similar question before coming back to the present.

"Of course I did," she said emphatically, moving towards him, "I do still."

"But you're going to be with him now?"

"Yes."

There was a long stretch of quiet where all they could hear was each other's breathing. She wanted to go to him, tell him that she loved him and that she was sorry and forget all about everything that had occurred today. But she stood her ground. Going over there now would only hurt him more in the long run because there was no way she would be able to stay away from Max

He wouldn't let her.

She wouldn't want too.

He stood up and moved into the kitchen to sit at the table. She stayed by the door for a moment before following him and standing in the doorway. He pulled an apple out of the basket of fruit she sat there earlier in the day and took a bite.

"I knew when I came back for lunch," he said, "when I walked in…I just knew. I came in and our picture was face down and it was like…like someone walked over my grave you know?"

She nodded but he didn't look up and so he didn't notice.

"Have you brought him here?"

"No," she responded without thinking.

"Don't lie to me," he said under his breath.

"I'm not," she shrieked, "I've never brought him here!"

"You've slept with him?"

"No!"

He shook his head angrily. "You're lying."

"I don't want to hurt you!"

"This has nothing to do with me," he replied looking at her like she was someone he'd never seen before. "It's about you and how you never wanting to take responsibility!"

"That's not true," she replied, on the defensive.

"Yes it is. Your parents have dictated every move of your life. Where you went to college, where you worked, you've never made any decisions for yourself so, in case they failed, you'd be the victim and it's always easier to be the victim."

"Shut up James," she said and he complied, stared at her until she started to speak again.

"You don't want to tell me the truth because you don't want me to hate you but I already do so it doesn't matter. You can tell me.

She felt her heart clench at his words but accepted their truth anyway. She was afraid of him hating her, of anyone not liking her and that character flaw had affected every decision she'd ever made up to this point, just like he said.

Every decision, that is, except her choice to be with Max

That had set off arguments, fights, disappointments and heartache; but they had all been her own. It was time to stop running, and start taking on some accountability.

"You're right," she said slowly, moving toward him and sitting in the chair opposite his own. "I didn't want you to hate me but I need to learn that that's out of my hands. I can't control your feelings and I need to tell you the truth, even if it hurts you."

He looked up then, his red eyes surprised.

"I have brought him here," she said, breathing hard, "and I've slept with him too."

"You cheated on me."

It wasn't a question, which is just as well because she didn't have an answer. A lot of things went through her mind. She wanted to ask him for his forgiveness but didn't.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry," he asked unbelievably. "You're _just_ sorry? I hope your heart's breaking. Is it?"

She tried to get her breathing under control and answer him truthfully. "Yes."

"Good," he replied after a moment as if he was asking a coworker about their day. As if they hadn't ever loved each other. As if he didn't know her at all.

"Now get out," he went on sharply, tipping his hand and showing his anger, "I'll have your stuff packed up by tomorrow. We'll talk to each other later about everything else."

"James…"

"Please leave," he requested quietly, getting up and turning away from her. She got up and went to their room to grab some clothes before making her way to the door, "I'm sorry," Liz said again softly, wiping her tear stained cheeks.

"I know that doesn't change anything but I really never wanted it to be this way."

"I don't believe you," he responded in a monotone.

She watched his down turned head, trying to think of something she could say to make this better, before exiting the apartment and saying nothing.

-0-

She almost dropped her clothes when she flew through the front doors of their apartment building, gasping for breath, trying not to cry and looking for a cab when someone placed a warm hand on her shoulder. She turned quickly before rolling her eyes.

"I thought I told you I was going to do this on my own."

"You did," Max responded, pulling her into his arms and trying to not be angry that she was upset over breaking up with James. "I just came to make sure you were alright. Are you?"

"No."

He ran his hand through her hair and hugged her closer. "Come on," he said. "I'll hail us a cab and we'll go home."

"Home," she asked, smiling a little.

"Yeah," he responded. "It's your home too now."

He wiped away the remaining tears with his thumb and smiled. "Let's go."


	13. Part Thirteen

**Part Thirteen**

**

* * *

**

Liz called into work the next day and took advantage her three weeks vacation starting that day. They were a little angry at her for the short notice she'd given but since she'd been there a good while, was a reliable worker and had never before taken advantage of the companies 3week paid leave, they cut her some slack and wished her luck.

The next two weeks were as close to a dream as she'd ever had.

Max had to be at school for 9 A.M and so they would get up at 7:30 and while he showered and dressed, she would make him breakfast and kiss him goodbye at the door. While he was gone she enjoyed her newfound solitude. Liz had never really had time in her up until this point to just sit and think, watch T.V, learn new dishes to cook, or just laze the day away.

She always had some sort of activity to do in high school. _"It'll flesh out your résumé for college,"_ her mother said resolutely when she had objected to joining another after school group.

But she had time now.

He would come home around sixish and she would have dinner ready. They would talk and smile and flirt and after they ate they would sit on the couch together while she watched T.V or read a book. Sometimes she'd even help him with his homework. They'd go and squeeze into his tiny master bathroom, combing their hair and knocking their elbows as they brushed her teeth.

Then they would go into his…_their_ bedroom and she would make him groan using nothing but her hands and her mouth and her body. Sometimes, afterward, she'd look at the ceiling with a smile and hope to die before she ever tired of his touch.

Liz gazed at the clock and got up from her seated position on the couch. Every now and then she went to NYU to eat lunch with him but today she decided to stay and start dinner early. She was happy, the happiest she'd been in a long time but something was niggling at the back of her mind. Something that was making the longest uninterrupted time that'd ever spent together less enjoyable then it should have been but she couldn't put her finger on what it was exactly.

Then the phone rang but she knee deep into the side salad she was making decided to let it ring. She smiled as Max's voice filled the room telling whoever it was calling to leave their name and number and he would get back to them. They would have to record a new one now that she was there full time.

That thought made her smile brighter until the callers voice filled the room.

"Hello Maxwell. This is Dr. Culling and I was just calling to make sure everything was alright. You've missed all your appointments for the last three weeks and I think we need to talk about what was said at our last meeting. As you know, my cell phone number is…"

Liz almost dropped the salad bowl before righting it and placing it on the table. This was it, she'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop and it just had. She selfishly considered erasing it for a moment before vetoing the thought. She didn't even know who this Dr. Culling was but she felt threatened by him none the less.

"I'll just play it by ear," she said to herself lowly, turning to set the table.

"I'll see what he wants to do and we'll go from there."

She nodded her head, happy that was resolved, and got back to work. He'd be back soon.

-0-

Liz heard the door open but didn't move to greet him as she usually did, just sat at the table and chewed the side if her fingernail with nervousness. She couldn't see what he was doing but she knew anyway. He sat his bag down as soon as he entered, tired after hauling it around all day. He'd glance around for her and then he would see the flashing light on the voicemail. Then she heard it…

"Hello Maxwell…"

It was stopped almost as soon as he began to play it and she heard the tell tale beep every one of those things made when it was erasing. He came into the kitchen and leaned down to nuzzle the side of her neck.

"How has your day been?"

"Good," she smiled up at him, not sure how she felt about his erasing that message even though she'd been tempted to do the same thing. "I made us chicken spaghetti and salad."

He backed away from her, studying the look on her face before saying, "That sounds good."

She got up and they each served themselves a healthy portion before sitting back down again. They chatted over dinner about their respective jobs, when he was going to apply to the academy, his school and she felt herself relaxing a little until he spoke up.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said too quickly, sitting up straight, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," he replied quietly, looking at her closely. "When I came in you looked strange."

"Who's Dr. Culling? Is he the therapist you told me you were seeing," the question popped out without her consent and she immediately wished she could push the words back into her mouth and have him not hear them but he was already looking all wide eyed and leaning back, away from her, into his chair.

"I wasn't sure if you'd heard that or not."

"I did," she stated plainly, waiting for him to say…something. She wasn't sure what.

He looked down and picked at his plate before answering. "He's my therapist."

"He said you haven't been going to your appointments."

"I haven't."

"Why? When you spoke of him before I got the feeling he was helping you out."

"He's not good for _us_," he said, voice oddly detached.

"What does that mean?"

"He didn't want me to start seeing you again."

"Huh!"

"He said he didn't want us to be anything more than friends but that was after I went to your apartment that day…"

It was really silly, considering the things they'd done since, but bringing that day up at the kitchen table made her blush.

"…too late to try and stop being with you at that point. Even if he'd told me that the first day I saw you again, it would have been too late," he reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "I can't be in the same city with you and not _be_ with you."

"Why would he not want you with me?"

"I don't know," he replied angrily. "So I'd keep going to see him three days a week."

"He doesn't even know me."

"Liz," he waited until she was looking at him to continue. "I don't need him anymore so it doesn't even matter. I have you now and you're all that matters."

She swallowed and smiled, letting him hold her hand tight, before they got up, washed their dishes and put the food away. They took their bathes, brushed their teeth and she slipped into bed beside him later that evening.

"Good night," he whispered, already half out of it, spooning himself to her back.

"Good night Max," she murmured back, not feeling sleepy at all.

-0-

They started the morning the same way they did every day. Up at 7:30, breakfast, a kiss goodbye at the door. The only difference was that, as soon as he left, she went and called information to find the address of Dr. Cullings' office. She walked down the street hurriedly, afraid she would run into him even though his school was clear across town and sighed with relief when she found the building and was able to duck inside unseen. She hesitated before opening the door to his office and patiently waited at his receptionists' desk until the older woman was free to speak.

"Welcome to Dr. Cullings' office, how may I help you."

Liz opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out. She suddenly wanted to run from this place as fast as she'd come in. She was simply fighting a case of cold feet. She and Max were finally happy after fighting and fussing and running from one another their whole life and she was just looking for a way to continue the cycle.

To keep the drama coming, because that was all they'd ever really had before

"Nevermind," she said quickly, already moving to the door when someone behind her spoke.

"Elizabeth Parker?"

She stopped cold thinking, irrationally, that maybe he wouldn't be able to see her anymore. She'd be free to walk back out onto the street and forget she'd ever been here in the first place. Laugh at her ridiculous impulse to come and see what this person, who didn't know her at all, had to say about her and Max's relationship.

The man she assumed was Dr. Culling had moved while she thinking. Close enough that he was touching her elbow, "You're Max's Elizabeth right?"

"That's right," she said, turning toward him, feeling defensive.

"Is Max with you?"

"No," she replied and he raised his eyebrows, "how did you know what I looked like?"

"He showed me a picture once."

"Yeah well," she went on pulling out of his grasp. "I'm leaving now so…"

"Well let's talk first. I'm guessing that's why you came here in the first place right?"

She hesitated, looking for a way out. "What about your patients?"

"It's my lunch break," he replied, never breaking eye contact, "You wouldn't mind if I ate a sandwich while we spoke would you?"

"No," responded without thought, reflexively polite.

"Well come in," he touched her elbow again and ushered her into his small but tidy office.

"I'm not sitting on that chaise," she stated firmly.

"I would never think to talk to you there; you're not one of patients. We'll talk at my desk," he motioned to a dark mahogany piece of furniture and she made her way over to it.

He pulled out her chair and after a moment she took a seat.

"Well," he said with a soft smile, rifling through a lower drawer and pulling out a little baggie containing a slightly squished sandwich and a bag of baked Lays. "What did you come to speak to me about today?"

"I heard the message you left for Max the other day and I…

"You were curious."

"I guess so."

"Why?"

She shrugged and they lapsed into a sort of awkward silence.

"Did he talk about me a lot?"

"I can't say what a patient tells me while in session."

She nodded, "of course."

"But I can say that I've wanted to meet you for a long time."

"So you could tell me to stay away from him," she seethed, angry that this man would have the guts to say that about her then sit and smile in her face.

"I would never tell him not to be with you."

"He wouldn't listen anyway."

"No he wouldn't," Dr. Culling said, looking lose limbed and totally at ease. "He's too dependent on you."

"No. He just loves me too much," she corrected him getting to her feet, "and this was a terrible idea so I'm going to leave now."

"I never meant to imply that he didn't love you. I'm sorry if you got that impression."

She crossed her arms over chest and looked down at him.

"Will you stay and sit?"

"I'll stay and stand," that get a small grin out of him.

"Whatever makes you comfortable."

"Do you know I live with him now?"

That little piece of information seemed to throw him for a loop and she rejoiced at gaining the upper hand.

"You had a live-in boyfriend though right?"

"That's over."

"Was it a hard break-up?"

"That's none of you goddamn business."

"You're right, I'm sorry," he said, not perturbed at all by her outburst. "I didn't know about your arrangements but it doesn't surprise me. Tell me one thing though, when's the last time you spoke to your friends or family?"

The question came from out of left field and, just like that, she was playing defense again, "excuse me?"

"When's the last time you spoke to some friends or family? Have you called them since you moved in with Max?"

Liz opened her mouth to say yes but stopped and thought first. She distinctly remembered looking at the ID on her cell phone while she and Max watched T.V, seeing Maria's name and pressing ignore.

"Can't remember?"

"I'm thinking," she replied sharply.

The phone had rung many times while she was there but, more often than not, they ignored it. They didn't have parties or invite anyone over. They went to dinner, clubs and community functions but stuck together.

"Can't come up with anything can you?"

She looked away, "we've just been busy."

"No. It's just that, now you have each other, everyone else is expendable."

"We love each other," she said lowly, frightened by the truth she was seeing in his words.

"I know, but love doesn't mean possession. You can want to be with someone and still have a life of your own. Your relationship has a lot of the elements that are unheal …"

"I have to go," she interrupted while turning and making her way to the door.

He stood and met her there, "I would really like it if you came back here. We have things to talk about."

"I don't think that's going to happen," she said, looking straight ahead.

"Here's my card then," he sighed, "if you change your mind."

She took it and without glancing at it, placed the little square of paper into her purse and exited the building.

-0-

Liz was washing some dishes when she heard him unlocking the door. She stalled for a second before starting up again. She considered telling where she'd been today but decided against it, what did that guy know anyway? But then she thought about that night on the couch when she'd ignored Maria's phone call. She thought about how they never spoke to anyone in the building, how Dr. Culling said love didn't mean ownership.

Maybe he was right. Having friends and doing things separately didn't mean that they loved each other any less; it didn't mean they were any less devoted to one another. Perhaps she would go back, and bring Max with her. Have Dr. Culling help them work their way through whatever it was that made them cling to one another so much.

She turned to tell Max just that when she saw him kneeling before her with a little velvet black box and all her good intentions flew out the window.

"What are you doing?"

He smiled brightly, "asking the girl of my dreams to marry me."

"Max…"

"Just say yes."

She stood there for a second, covered her mouth with her hands, tears in her eyes, and said yes before letting him put the ring on her finger and pull her to the ground. Pull her jeans, t-shirt and everything else off of her, let him slip into her body then carry her to their bed and do it all over again.

She lay there later that night, Max's head resting on her bare breast, and admired the way the light from the neon sign that shown through their window looked caught in her small diamond solitaire. This was truly the happiest she'd ever been but there was that little niggle again, in the back of her mind, telling her to beware.

She shook it off angrily and let herself drift into sleep.


	14. Part Fourteen

**Part Fourteen**

**

* * *

**

"You don't have to go back to work."

Liz stretched out on their bed and looked at him curiously, "huh?"

He smiled shyly and ducked away from her gaze, piquing her interest even more. "I said you could stay home if you want."

She felt her heart beat kick up a little, "uh Max…"

"Just think about it," he replied lowly, entwining his fingers with hers, twisting his ring around her finger. "I'm about to go to the academy but after that you could stay home if you want. I'll be working and we'll be married soon so…" she must have had a look because he went on quickly, "it's just a thought. Just something to consider."

She forced out a smile and nuzzled the side of his neck before taking a bite, "Alright, I'll think about it."

-0-

"I wasn't sure if you would come back or not."

She shrugged and went to sit on the chaise, "I didn't think I would but…"

He thought about mentioning what she had said to him on their last visit about where she was sitting right now but decided against it. "You keep thinking about what I said during our last visit?"

She ran her hands through her hair nervously, "that was part of it."

"And that ring on your finger was the other part," he said dryly, pointing at her left hand.

She stuck her hands in her pockets even though it was too late to try and hide them from him, "maybe."

He watched her for a moment before moving across the floor and taking a seat, "Max knows you're here?"

"He does not."

"Why do you keep coming here?"

"This is only my second visit. I wouldn't say I _keep_ coming here."

"Then why are you coming to visit me," he replied with a smile.

"Because I keep thinking about what you said to me on my last visit. Why do you think we can't be together."

"I don't think you shouldn't be with him, I just think you two need to slow down and pull away a little. You just found each other again and, if that ring means what I think it means, you're already going to get married."

"We're in love," she argued.

"But you haven't seen him for years. You two aren't the same people no matter how much you're trying to be."

"We're not," she said lowly, feeling attacked.

He sighed, "then what do you think is going on?"

She shrugged, "isn't that your job?"

"No it isn't. We're just chatting about my patient, I'm not counseling you but if I was, I would be helping you figure out what was going on in your life."

"Was that a not so subtle way of saying if I keep coming here I'm going to have to start making appointments?"

"Yes and no. I would like for you to try and talk to Max about coming back but I would also like for you to come with him as a couple and alone."

"Is something wrong with us," she asked after a moment of silence.

He folded his hands and leaned forward, "do you feel like there is?"

"Maybe."

"Like what?"

She liked her lips, trying to decide whether or not to tell him the real deal or water it down, "I still haven't told him how it was after he left me."

"He won't talk about it?"

"Just the opposite actually, he's asked me quite a few times but I won't go into it."

"Why not?"

"It's embarrassing," she said with a mirthless chuckle, "I was so pathetic and stupid right after he left. I don't want to tell anyone about that. Especially not him."

"But if you love him, why wouldn't you want to share your pain."

"It would make me feel…weak," she replied. He noted how remote she seemed during this visit when she was so emotional during their last.

"What do you mean?"

"He would have something over me."

"Does that bother you?"

She nodded absently, eyes fixed on some part of the wall to the right of his face, "He already has enough."

"In what way?"

"Sex," she said plainly, "that's pretty much all we do."

"Why do you think that is?"

"It's easy. Easier than talking about other things."

"Like what happened after he left?"

He thought she wasn't going to answer but she did after a second of quiet, "like how I pined after him for a year after he left. I would search everyone's face on the street to see if it belonged to him," she changed her position getting agitated.

"He has no idea what it's like to love someone and then to have them just disappear on you one day. I mean, there was his mother but she died. He knew what happened to her. He wasn't left wondering is she was dead or alive."

"Is that why you're angry with him?"

"I'm not…"_mad at him_ is what she'd planned to say but thinking about it now, maybe she was.

"No, that's not why I'm mad," she said after a second, "I'm mad because of how he embarrassed me."

"Go on."

"The looks on my parents face when I walked back in that door after telling them I was leaving with Max and there was nothing they could do. They told me to be smart, to think of my future and I told them that he _was_ my future and I didn't want to be anywhere without him and I'd show them!"

She laughed sharply at the memory, "I walked in there and they were having dinner and my mother looks over and tells me to go wash my face and study because my test for college was the next day. The look on her face…and the kids at school, all those faces said, poor stupid Liz, she got hoodwinked by that delinquent. She believed in him and he humiliated her in front of everyone."

She stopped for a minute, relieved to have said the words out loud after so many years bottling them up, "that's why I try to keep as much power as I can in this relationship. That's why I'm...not as happy as I should be."

They looked at each other across the room and she continued, "sometimes," she leaned forward as though confessing a secret, "I think about just getting up and leaving or not coming back home after work. I wouldn't stay gone too long, just a few days or so you know. Just to give him a taste of his own medicine," she remarked almost wistfully.

"Would you ever actually go through with that?"

Liz looked at him like he was crazy, "of course not, I love Max," she leaned back, "you've never thought about trying to get back at someone you love?"

He didn't answer her question, just stated one of his own, "have you ever talked to anyone about this before."

She shook her head.

"I would really like for you to start making appointments with me Liz," he said slowly.

"I don't need a therapist."

"Don't think of me as that. I'm just," he stopped, searching for a word, "someone who can listen to your problems and give you advice on how to work through them."

She looked at him and said, "I'll think about it."

He accepted that even though he wanted a more concrete guarantee from her.

"You still haven't said what you think needs to happen between Max and me."

He folded his hands, trying to think of the best way to say this and deciding the direct route was it. "You need to move out."

She had been looking off into the distance and his answer didn't register on her face at all, "move out," but her voice sounded higher pitched, a little worried.

"Yes, not break up with him, just move out."

She turned toward him, "What would we do?"

"Date."

"Date?" she asked, starting to show a little emotion. "We're engaged, we're not dating."

This is where it was going to get sticky, "I think that you two should put that on hold."

And she was up and out of her seat. "Excuse me?"

"Have you set a date?"

She thought for a moment, "We weren't planning on anything big. A little ceremony in some church with a few friends or we might even just go to City Hall. We don't want anything that requires a lot of planning or anything."

"Well then there should be no issue in you not getting married any time within, say, the next," he thought one number then cut it half so as to not alarm her further, "Six months."

"Six months," she said a little louder than what she would have liked but before stepping out of the cab in front of this office she'd promised to herself that she would stay cordial, detached and that she would keep her memories and feelings to herself. Since 2 and 3 had already gone out the window, might as well chuck being pleasant out as well.

"I just want your marriage to start out on as truthful and stable ground as possible. You two could get married right after you leave this office, I couldn't stop you, but you'll be giving your relationship a harder road to hoe."

"I'm not the only one of us who has issues!"

"You're right, but you're the only one here. You have to do this for both of you and I know it's not fair but that's the way it is."

She took a few steadying breathes, "I can't."

"You can. You have to."

"I wouldn't even know how to talk to him about it. How to keep things under control."

He leaned forward, feeling that she was about to finally start listening to him, "I'll tell you how to talk to him so he knows that you're not walking out."

She sat down heavily, feeling a little dazed by this whole situation, "what should I do?"

-0-

Liz stepped out of the cab and looked up the side of the building, counting floors until she reached the right one, looked in the window and sighed. The light was on. She considered going up stairs and not saying anything at all when she thought back to what Dr. Culling had said and straightened her spine.

Gathering her resolve, she walked into the building and hopped on the elevator, which had finally been fixed, pressing her floor number and wishing the floors went by slower because before she knew it, they hissed open and she stepped off after only a moment's hesitation. She glided the hall and stopped outside their door, trying to decide when the right time to tell him would be, when he opened the door with a big smile.

"Why are skulking around out here?"

"I'm not," she said quickly, trying to change her expression before he caught wind. "I was just thinking."

"About what," he asked, moving aside and ushering her in before shutting the door and walking to the kitchen.

She followed after him and sat in a chair at the table, "Nothing really," she smiled then. "You're cooking for me?"

She could feel him grin in return, "I am," he said, without turning around. "Where were you today?"

Liz could tell he was trying to act casual with the question but a certain weight had entered the room that wasn't there before. She turned to wall in front of her even though he wasn't facing her.

"Nowhere really, just to see Maria."

She saw him nod out the corner of her eye and start stirring whatever was in the big pot before him. She took this moment to stare at the back of his head, to trace the musculature that the white t-shirt he was wearing couldn't cover.

She took this moment to memorize him in case…just in case.

Liz stood up and went to stand next to him, gazing into the pots depth. "What are you making noodles for?"

"Chicken Alfredo."

"My favorite."

"Your favorite," he stated with a grin before it slipped from his face. "What's up Liz?"

"I was just thinking about earlier…"

"You don't have to stay home," he said quickly, "it was just an idea I had but I know you make more than me and you love science. I would never try and talk you into something you didn't want to do," he slowed down, "I just love having you here when I get home."

She smiled and for the first time today, felt her eyes starting to mist over. She took his hand and brought it to her face, watched him watch her as she swept her lips across it closed her eyes. Wanting them to be like this forever.

What she was about to do would be the first step in the right direction.

"What was that for," he asked softly, feeling the need to whisper lest she stop.

Liz didn't open her eyes for a moment, just enjoying his touch. Knowing for sure now that Dr. Culling was right and that this needed to be done.

"Max," she looked up and locked eyes with him, holding his hand tightly. "I'm moving out."


	15. Part Fifteen

**Part Fifteen**

**

* * *

**

It was very quiet for a short stretch of time. Max looked at her face and then gave a crooked smile, completely throwing her off.

"What?"

She swallowed, blinking back the tears she felt trying to fall and not really wanting to repeat what she'd just said but knowing she had to. She swallowed and straightened her spine. "I said I'm leaving."

They looked at each other and she watched as the smiled slipped from his face incrementally. "What do you mean?"

She took a breath, and started to pace. "I think we have an unhealthy relationship and that we'll never get better if don't get out from underneath one another." Liz stopped moving when there was no response and looked at him, only to take a step back at the anger and confusion covering his face.

"Who have you been talking to?"

"Nobody," she responded quickly, too quickly obviously, because he looked more suspicious and took a step closer.

"You sure?"

"I would know if I had been speaking to someone about us," she answered, fighting annoyance and wondering why she shouldn't just tell him she'd been seeing a therapist. _Because then he won't believe you really feel these things. He'll think someone's been whispering in your ear and he'll touch you because that always worked every other time._

He searched her face and must have seen her sincerity, must have come to believe that this wasn't some stupid joke because his face softened. "Is this because I wanted you to stay home? It was just a stupid suggestion, I won't bring that up again."

"No," she responded softly, and took a deep breath. It was all beginning to click into place, looking at him she was _finally_ starting to get what Dr. Culling had been trying to tell her during their visits. Liz had only decided to go through with his suggestion because the rational part of her brain, the part that attracted her to science, knew that what he was saying was right but now she starting to _feel_ it.

And feel strong as well.

Stronger than she ever had and wondered if this was how he'd felt when he decided he had to leave. Had he felt broken but somehow more stable than he remembered? Had he felt trapped by his love for her but free as well because he knew he was trying to help her?

Help them both?

She wanted to ask him about it but thought he might misunderstand and take this for some kind of act of revenge. The Liz he knew would've been capable of that.

_This_ Liz wasn't anymore.

Could he tell she was changing right before his eyes? Liz took a breath and felt sad and happy and confused all at the same time but, in this moment, she also felt calm. She felt herself becoming brand new.

His mouth opened and the words, "what's going on," came tumbling out gracelessly.

"I'm leaving because if I don't do it now, one of us will be doing it later," she replied peacefully.

"What does that even mean?"

"That something's not right between us and you know it. I'm taking the initiative to try and fix it."

She felt steely with her sudden resolve and he looked at her, dumbfounded. She imagined he could feel her surety and smiled a little, he thought she was weak. He'd never said it and she wasn't even sure he was conscientious of it but she knew. She wasn't angry about it though because she had _been_ the weaker of the two of them. Even with all the shit that had been going on in his life, he'd always been the backbone in their relationship.

She sighed sadly even just thinking about it, Liz had been on the road of trying to better herself slowly for the past decade but she'd come to realize that it was time to stop _trying_ and start _doing_. She could see the shock and hurt on his face and felt some of her happiness about her new found resolve slipped away. She wanted to make him smile again but this new Liz was finally capable of doing the right thing even when she didn't want to. Even when it hurt.

Especially when it hurt.

He got this look on his face then. The look he got right before he slid his palm along the curve of her shoulder, the sensitive inside of her arms, the taper of her waist before he would slip one his fingers, just barely, into the top of her jeans at the small of her back and she felt her heart start to palpitate faster. He was wearing that look he got right before he got her to do something and as he moved closer and reached out for her saying, "Liz…," in that bedroom baritone.

She batted his hand away quickly before she could think to do otherwise, "don't even try it."

If it was possible, he looked even more surprised and confused than he had earlier and she felt insane laughter bubbling up inside of her. This was a serious moment! She was trying to change the rules of a game they had been playing for the entirety of their lives and it was going to painful, people were going to scream and cry and be angry but when she thought of the two of them and the dense things they did, sometimes, she could only laugh or cry at how stupid they could be sometimes.

"Liz!"

She pulled herself out of her thoughts and sobered up again.

"That's not going to work anymore."

"What's not?"

"You know what," she replied with narrowed eyes. "That's part of problem right there. We don't ever talk."

She stopped and hugged him suddenly, pulling him close and even though he was stiff in her arms and didn't respond she didn't let go. "I know why you do that but I love you for more than that and I should have said it more," she whispered softly into his chest.

He pushed her away then, not hard enough for her to go far but with enough strength to make her let him go.

"Liz…"

"Go back to Dr. Culling," she spoke over him, "I'm going to find a therapist too and we'll and work it out from there,"

"I'm not sure if that's the best thing to do," he countered, he sounded shaken and she wanted to reassure him, pull him back into her arms and kiss him until he was happy again, but she wasn't as confident her new found determination could survive that much contact so she didn't.

"It's the only option we have right now," she said before turning and making her way to the room. She pulled down the suitcase they stored in the top of his closet and started to throw clothes into it without really looking to make she would have all the things she needed. He followed her into the room and hovered over her back and she felt vulnerable for the first time during this conversation.

Her original plan was to wait and tell him after she'd already moved all her clothes and made other sleeping arrangements but she knew as soon as walked into the house and saw him cooking with that smile and that face that she might never go if she waited one more second let alone one more day.

"You're really doing it then," he asked and she could hear tears in his voice.

She stopped and turned her head to the side, almost meeting his gaze but stopping just short, "yes."

"So what, you're going to go back to James, forget I ever existed?"

She faced him then, "I don't want to break off our engagement and I don't want to leave you, I'm just going to live somewhere else for the time being but we'll see each other."

"When?"

"Everyday."

"That's not enough," he said with certainty, eyes shiny. "I can't go from having you with me every moment I'm not in class or at work, from having you right next to me every night and helping me make breakfast every morning to seeing you every now and then."

"We'll see each other all the time Max."

"What about our engagement?"

"We're just going to put it on hold for a little while," she said desperately, trying to make him believe her.

He didn't say anything, just looked at her with accusing eyes and she shook her head, only hesitating once before picking up the bag and walking through the house to the front door. She grabbed the knob and began to turn it when he yelled from his doorway across the room.

"If you leave don't come back."

She turned toward him, shocked at his words even though she knew she shouldn't have been.

"You don't mean that."

"Give me back my ring," he said, face blank, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"Max…"

He covered the floor in her direction quickly, stopping right in front of her and placing his arm on the door, over her shoulder, shutting it loudly. He put his other hand out, palm up. "Give it to me."

Her breath hitched at his nearness. If this were any other day, if they hadn't just been fighting, if she hadn't just put their engagement on hold his hand would be underneath her skirt right now but she had done all those things and the last thing he looked like he wanted to do was touch her.

"You…"

"Just give it to me," he said, voice rising and she stood up tall, pushing him back, "No."

He looked like he was considering making her give the diamond up but he reached around her instead, grabbing for the knob, pulling it open and moving out of the way.

"Well just get out then," he said, "I can get it later."

She picked back up the handle getting ready to leave then stopping, "I'm coming back."

"Not if you walk out," and he sounded so sure of it. So set that she found herself stepping forward, running her hand along the edge of his jaw. He tensed up, like he did when she hugged him, before moving his face into her caress and closing his eyes. He grabbed her upper arms, eyes glassy again.

"You're staying?"

She cut him off with a gentle kiss if you could even call it that, more of a brush of their lips, "No but I love you please believe that."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you made a hard decision for us once and now it's my turn."

She started to pull away and he held on so pulled harder until he let go and walked out of the door.

"I swear to God Liz, don't come back if you leave," he yelled after her down the hall. Sounding frantic and she wanted to go back but didn't.

She didn't even turn around.

-0-

"Well, well, well," Mara stated, looking her friend over and not offering to let her in.

"The prodigal daughter returns."

"'Ria…"

"Let me see," the blond said, speaking over her. "You disappear for two weeks. You don't answer my calls or my texts or my emails and now here you are with a suitcase outside my door."

"I broke up with James and now I'm marrying Max."

"Excuse me," she asked loudly, self satisfied smirk gone from her lips.

And just like that, she snapped. The ephemeral surety she'd felt slipping away earlier now completely gone.

"…and I've been seeing a therapist cause we're all fucked up and he said I should leave and I wasn't supposed to tonight but I knew if I didn't do it when I had the nerve I never would so I did and he tried to make me give him his ring back but I wouldn't and he kicked me out…" she shared breathlessly, tears flowing freely down her face.

"Oh Liz," Maria cooed, opening the door and her arms wide to accept her friend.

"You know I love you right? That I was just messing with you earlier."

Liz nodded wetly.

"Well come on then," she responded, moving to the side and letting Liz walk through the door.

"I'll get us a drink."


	16. Part Sixteen

**Part Sixteen**

**

* * *

**

She called _all_ the time.

More than once a day that first week, less so now that they were a month out from the break up but still often, every afternoon at seven to be exact, when she had just made it home and he was done with school.

The first week she was gone, the only thing he'd done was go to school, work, and cook. Actually, that was still pretty much all he did. Other than that, he was in bed, staring at the only photo he had of the two of them together. How could they have known one another their whole lives and never taken any pictures together? The thought that he wouldn't have much to remember her by both saddened and relieved him.

He put the picture down and rolled over onto her pillow, taking a deep breath even though he'd promised himself yesterday to box it, and her other things, up and stop acting so sappy but he couldn't help himself. He hadn't washed it and it was beginning to smell more like sleep than her perfume, _Daisy_, but when he concentrated, he could still find a wisp of it.

That would be gone soon as well.

He started at the ring of his cell before shaking it off and pulling himself into a seated position. He glanced at the clock, seven on the dot, and for a split second considered not answering it. The sooner he stopped engaging her, the easier it would be to send her her things, the easier it would be to stop thinking about her and the easier it would be to move on.

He nodded; his new path set…but picked up the phone anyway.

"Hello Liz."

"Hey Max, what's going on," it kind of annoyed him how she would call and pretend like everything was alright. Like she was just away for the day and would be back tomorrow. He wanted to tell her so but he could hear her smile through the phone and since she wasn't there to get the wrong idea, he allowed himself to relax and smile in response.

"Just boxing up your stuff," he said it as lightly as possible and smiled wider at the barely audible gasp she gave. It was petty, but he was glad he could still hurt her. There was silence for a second.

"Well, what else are you doing," the conversational tone was back in place.

"Studying, how's work?"

"It's going well," she perked up, "we found this enzyme…" he half listened, half zoned out as she explained. He could never really understand what she was talking about when she went off on work related stories but he liked to listen anyway. To hear the cadence of her excited voice, to share in that joy with her.

"…you know?"

"Yes," he replied, getting back into the conversation, "When are you coming to get your stuff," he asked, a little perturbed that he still wanted to talk to her when she'd so unceremoniously dumped him.

"Soon," she replied gently, started to say something, stopped, then went on with it, "But wouldn't it be easier to just leave it there until I move back?"

He rolled his eyes and ignored the up kick in his heartbeat, "When? Today?"

He knew what she would say to that, the same thing she said everyday when she called and they inevitably got back to this same issue.

"…I can't until we both start trying to work out our issues. Have you been seeing your therapist?"

"I don't need a doctor," he replied sullenly.

"That's funny because you thought you needed one before I showed back up,"

"Well I don't need one anymore."

She stopped and seemed to be gathering herself for a moment before quietly saying, "I'm seeing someone."

He, literally, felt himself start to choke at her words. Going from a little annoyed yet hopeful to jealous in the span of a second,

"Who," he asked sharply.

"Not like that," she corrected quickly, "I'm seeing a psychiatrist."

He took a moment to breathe, embarrassed and pissed off that he'd tipped his hand. He decided to go for nonchalant even though that was the emotion farthest from his current state of mind, "Well good for you."

"You graduate next week right?"

She did that all the time now; change the subject to diffuse the fight. Though he was happy she'd let his last slip go, it bothered him that she probably learned the tactic from the same person who had talked her into leaving him.

"Yes."

"I would love to come."

"No."

She groaned, "I really think…"

"I don't care what you think," he said without thought and immediately regretted it. He wanted to tell her sorry, ask for her forgiveness and beg her to come home.

Instead he said, "You forfeited that when you left."

"But I love you."

"Stop saying that."

"No."

"Well I'm not listening anymore," with that, he flipped the phone closed. It lacked the satisfying _bang_ his landline would have given but it would have to do.

-0-

Liz sighed and put the phone into its cradle. The first couple of times he'd done that she'd been angry, now it was just par for the course. Dr. Culling told her to give him his space, to let him breath and she was doing that by not calling 7 times a day anymore but she'd made it clear that she wasn't cutting off all communication between the two of them no matter what anyone thought and the Dr. had accepted that.

She was going to keep calling Max and telling him she loved him every day, even if he didn't want to hear it. And no matter how much he denied it, she knew he did. Why else would he keep picking up the phone?

-0-

Max must have walked in and out of Dr. Cullings office five times before going up to the receptionist with a strained smile.

"How may I help you," she asked a little flirtatiously, he ignored that.

"I was wondering if the Dr. was…"

"Max?"

He turned and saw his therapist with a smile, "hey Dr. Culling."

"How have you been?"

"I've been well, I'm graduating next week."

The older man put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm so happy to hear that."

They stood in front of one another a little awkwardly for a moment. "Did you come for something in particular?"

"I just wanted to talk to you for a second if you had an opening."

He looked down at his watch. "I have a moment. Follow me into my office."

He did, somewhat reluctantly, and after he shut the door behind them, Max took a seat.

"Well what brought you back here?"

He shook his head, "Liz left me."

He nodded, "Go on."

"I just need someone to talk to who doesn't have a dog in the fight you know. If I talk to my family, they'll agree with me and I don't really have any good friends here to talk with." He sighed, "I just want someone who will tell me the truth."

"You want to resume your appointments then?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "I guess."

"I have to say Max," Dr. Culling said, walking around the desk and perching on the corner, "I'm glad to hear that."

"I know you are."

"I just think you're on the right track and you could only get better from here."

"Well I…"

"Sorry to interrupt," the receptionist said over the intercom, "But a patient is here and she's saying it's an emergency."

Someone slightly out of range spoke.

"Her name's Elizabeth."

There was an electric quiet for a moment after she said that and everything he had been wondering about suddenly clicked into place. He took a breath but didn't let it out and looked up to see Dr. Culling watching him.

"You were trying to make me leave her," he said lowly.

"Hold on…"

"She only started acting strange after you called my house that time," his mouth opened in astonishment. "How did I not think of this!"

"Now Maxwell…," the doctor said calmly, trying to get control of the situation.  
But his patient was already up and leaving the room.

-0-

If someone would have asked Liz just two moments what the last thing on Earth she would ever expect to see was she would have said peace on Earth but now that she was face to face with one Maxwell Evans in the very last place she would have ever expected, or wanted, to see him…

Well now she had a new answer to that question.

He watched her pick imaginary lint off the lapel of her charcoal grey skirt suit; she must have dropped by from work, her maple syrup colored hair pinned up with strategic bits loose about her face.

He hadn't seen her since she'd walked out and she looked more beautiful than ever.

That just made him angrier.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing…"

He shook his head, "I can't believe you let him talk you into dumping me."

"He didn't talk me into anything! I thought it was the right thing."

"You thought it was the right thing to lie to me."

"No!"

"So when were you going to let me in on the fact that you were seeing my therapist?"

She struggled for words before throwing her hands up, "Okay fine. I wasn't ever going to tell you but that's because I was already looking for another doctor and I didn't think it was…necessary."

"I think we should move this to my office," Dr. Culling said, noticing that all eyes on the two people in the center of the room.

They ignored him.

"Not necessary?"

"I knew you'd just blame it on him and not believe me when I said I thought it all out and decided to do this because it was the best thing for us Max!"

"If you two are going to keep screaming," the doctor said in a tone sharp enough to catch their attention. "We need to take this conversation into my office."

"No need," Max replied calmly, never looking away from Liz, "I'm done," and he turned to walk out of the office.

"Fine leave," she screamed after him.

"I'm already gone," he yelled back over his shoulder and disappeared through the doors.

Liz stared at the door he'd exited before she followed Dr. Culling into his office without a word, feeling completely wrung out.

"Do you two fight like that often?"

"Every day."

He sighed, "I know you've already made up your mind about this but I seriously think it would be best for you to give him his space."

"I do give him his space," she said, sitting down in the same chair she was offered when this whole mess began. "I didn't run after him just now, there's his space."

"Liz…"

"What?"

"What are you going to do?"

She shrugged, "His graduation's next week."

"He invited you," he asked, perking up at their prospects.

"No, but I'm going anyway."

He sighed and finally took his own seat. "I'm not sure that's the best course of action."

She rolled her eyes and he continued.

"I just think maybe you ought to give him his space and his ring and let him get himself together on his own time."

She shook her head, "No, he's upset now but he loves me."

"How do you know that?"

She about growled at the accusation and he went on quickly, "I'm not trying to diminish what you two have ever felt about one another or what you had but have you ever thought maybe that relationship wasn't supposed to last forever? That maybe you were meant to love each other for that moment and that's it?"

He was worried she would shrug his advice off but she actually appeared to be thinking about it, taking his words in and chewing them over, until she finally began shaking her head slowly.

"No, that's not it."

"And I'll ask again, how do you know?"

She stood and held his gaze with a dreamy look and a sure demeanor.

"Because, if he didn't love me, he would stop answering the phone.


	17. Part Seventeen

**Part Seventeen**

**

* * *

**

"I'm pretty sure what you did was illegal."

Dr. Culling turned at the sound of his patient's voice and smiled slightly, "hello Max." It had been four days since his and Liz's confrontation. "I wasn't sure I would see you again."

"Or at least unethical," he went on, not skipping a beat.

"I didn't tell her anything confidential about you. The only things we spoke about were things she brought up."

"Things that involved me?"

"Sometimes."

"Can't you see there's something wrong with that?"

"Not really," he replied, "she first came here because of you but our subsequent visits were all about her."

He crossed his arms over his chest, "Dr. Culling…"

"We never spoke of what happened in our sessions. I treated her as the separate patient she was and yes you came up in quite a few of those sessions but I never bought in the things that you said to me. Those are all confidential."

He crossed his arms over his chest, "but can't you see how I might be unhappy about that? How I might find it hard to trust you now?"

He hesitated before speaking, "I have many patients besides you Maxwell."

"But only one of them is the girl I've been talking to you about this whole time!"

"That's true," he replied, conceding his point.

Max tightened his jaw, "well then why did you take her on?"

He took a breath, "are you going to keep me as your therapist?"

The younger man scoffed, "that would be difficult seeing as though I don't trust you."

"Well then can we speak as friends?"

"As associates."

That brought a smile to his face, "Then I'll tell you why I took her on instead of giving her a recommendation when she came by."

That caught his attention but he tried to play it cool, "Why?"

"I was…interested in her."

He took an angry step forward but stopped when the other man put his hands up in defense, "Not in that way."

He backed off, reluctant, but wanting to hear what he had to say, "Go ahead."

"I was curious to see the girl you'd told me so much about."

"Why?"

"You know," he said instead of answering the question, "I listen to people talk about themselves _all_ day, every day and most of the time, I'm ashamed to say, it's pretty boring. People whining about this and that and whatever else but you…you were different. You were interesting. "

Max took a step back, wanting to storm out of the room but unable to look away.

"You, of course, weren't the first abused person I've ever helped but you were the first one I became interested in personally. I want to help every person who comes through those doors but something about you made me _need_ to help you."

"Why," he asked, enthralled and repelled by his admission.

He shrugged, "When you told me how you'd been living and why you left I felt invested."

"But don't you feel that way with everyone?"

"No."

"Then why do you do this if you don't want to help people?"

He looked down at his hands, "Because I did when I was younger. I thought I could save the world and as the years have gone by I've seen that I can't. That people are going to keep sabotaging themselves and they're going to keep hurting each other."

He met Max's eyes again, "You can't imagine what I felt like when I realized that people didn't come here to change, they came here to talk and then go back to repeating the same unhealthy behaviors. But you were different. You wanted to do better and I wanted to help you."

"What does that have to do with Liz?"

"She seemed to be the only other shaping factor in your life besides your father, when I got the chance to talk to her, I took it."

Max felt his breath catching, "And what did you think of her?"

"That's confidential."

Max's eyes narrowed and the older man laughed, "I can tell you that I thought she was sweet. Conflicted, but sweet."

"Conflicted about what?"

"You would have to ask her."

Max looked at him and fought down the urge to hit him, "How can I do that when you told her to leave me?"

"You haven't been in touch?"

"Not for the last few days," he thought for a second, "You haven't seen her?"

"I can't really get into that, but I…"

"Whatever it is, I don't care," he said sharply, "I just want to know why you told her she should leave."

"Because you two need to forge lives independent of one another."

"We were apart for 10 years!"

"But not really right?"

Max rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

"But that's just it, you lived in those memories and when she came back into your life you two went right back to where you were. Have you ever even gone out on a date?"

He opened his mouth to reply and hesitated only a moment, "We've been friends forever. We've gone everywhere together."

"But I'm asking about a date. You know, when one person calls the other and sets up a time to meet."

"Don't talk to me like that," he said flatly and the Dr. sat up straighter.

"I'm sorry, I was being unprofessional."

"This whole thing is unprofessional!"

"I just wanted to help you," he said lowly, "And when I met her, I wanted to help her too."

"But why did you tell her to leave me," he asked louder than what he would've liked, sick of talking around what he really wanted to know."

"Because I thought I was helping. I believed that a separation was the only way you two could really begin to become your own person. "

"Yeah well," he replied, no longer angry just…tired, "you broke us up instead."

He turned to leave the office when Dr. Culling said something that brought him up short, "Are you going to stay in counseling?"

He thought about not answering but decided it couldn't hurt, "yes…probably."

"I just want you to know I really wanted to help you two. I only had the best of intentions."

Max turned back then, angry again, "Don't ever try and get in touch with either of us again."

"Liz can decide for herself whether or not she wants to continue with me."

He stepped back in the room then, lowered his voice, "Do it or I'll take this to your higher ups and they'll decide whether what you did was unethical or just a slight conflict of interest."

The older man quieted then and Max watched him, making sure he understood his seriousness, before he left his office for the last time.

-0-

Liz stretched up on her tip toes to try and get a better view him up on stage. When she'd asked for a ticket, he had told her not to come. To give him some time and she'd decided to try and respect his wishes. She stopped calling everyday, dropping their correspondence down to once a week. He hadn't answered the phone this week but she understood. He had a right to be angry.

She'd tried to stay away but the ceremony was on the front lawn and...she couldn't.

Liz would regret it forever if she didn't see him graduate.

"…Max Evans…"

She focused on the stage again at his name and began to clap when she saw his family off to the left of her going crazy. She impulsively ducked away out of their sight and watched him as he smiled at them and waved, looking embarrassed, before making his way back to his seat on the lawn. She felt stupid for shying away from them but only God knew what he'd been telling them and she Michael had never been particularly friendly so…better safe than sorry.

She left after his name was called and wandered around town for about an hour, thinking, when she looked across the street and saw Dizzies. The first place they'd gone when she saw him again, the first time she'd ever walked away from him. Liz shook off her melancholy mood and started to make her way over when she stopped short. Before...everything, they'd planned on coming here for lunch after his graduation and the last thing she needed was to run into him and his family when he'd made it abundantly clear that he didn't want to see her.

She considered leaving but thought better of it; he wouldn't come here with them. Dianne and Philip had money; they would probably go somewhere nice. She nodded to herself and made her way across the street and into the diner.

-0-

Max hugged his family happily and squinted as he looked out into the crowd around them, turning away when he realized he was searching for her face. He'd asked her not to come and she wasn't here so why did that hurt him?

"Where do you want to go for dinner," Philip asked with a wide smile, breaking him out of his thoughts, "It's on Dianne and me."

They could have gone somewhere fairly nice and somewhat expensive, some place that had been profiled in a magazine but he said, "Dizzies," without a thought.

As they waved down two cabs and crammed in, he tried to keep up with the conversation instead of thinking about whether she would be there or not. It was a big city though, she probably wouldn't and it bothered him that he was sort of hoping she would be.

Liz looked up the moment the bell on the door trilled, announcing some new patrons and met Isabel's eyes.

She clutched the table and thought about getting up, about making her way out the back door but then the tall blond was whispering to the group of people around her and then they were all looking over to the corner booth she currently occupied. She took a deep breath and smiled awkwardly.

"Hey Mr. and Mrs. Evans," she said, meeting their strained glances. "Iz, Michael...Max" she moved to look at him but stopped short and looked back everyone else instead as she yelled across the diner, feeling stupid but unable to stop talking, "How have you all been?"

They glanced between one another quickly, no one speaking until Philip stepped forward, "Well and you."

"Awesome," she said too quickly and from the look on his face, he didn't believe her. Liz stood quickly; suddenly unable to bear their pity filled looks anymore. She threw some money on the table next to her half eaten sandwich. She walked over to them with stilted steps, steadily avoiding Max's gaze, and sporting a huge plastic grin, "I was just on my way out," she put her back against the glass trying to stay as far away from them as possible, "But it was good to see you again."

"Liz…"

She stopped for a second at the sound of his voice. Without looking back she said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd be here," and slipped out the door before he could reply.

Now all eyes were on him.

"Max…" Isabel started slowly and he cut in, not really wanting to hear it.

"I'm going to the bathroom," he said and turned away from them, walking across the dining room and into the back hallway.

Pushing into the bathroom and making his way to the sink. He turned the faucet on and leaned over, splashing his face and trying to even out his breath. He should have done something; he wasn't sure what but…something other than just stand there when he saw her.

The look on her face when they all turned toward her was something he'd never forget, like she'd been trapped, like…

"Max?"

He gasped and turned quickly, startled by Philips voice.

"You scared the hell out of me," he said loudly, smiling a little.

"I'm sorry."

"No, its fine," he said, waving it off and turning toward him, noticing the contemplative look on the other man's face. "Did you need to speak to me?"

He took a breath, seemingly about to speak, before thinking better of it and stopping for a moment. Max didn't rush him; he waited as a strange unknown knot began to gather in his stomach.

"I know we haven't been the closest…"

"Philip…"

"No it's okay," he said quickly, "I know we love each other, we just don't speak as much as you do with the other three and I'm not really sure what happened between you and Liz..."

"I don't think…"

"You're a grown man and you don't need my opinion but please let me give it to you anyway."

Max looked down, the last thing he wanted to discuss was his relationship with Liz but Philip never asked much of him and if this was what he wanted he would let him speak his piece.

"I know she did something to you and you probably feel betrayed and angry but the look on your face when you saw her just now," he shook his head, searching for words. "It seems like you still want her."

"It's not that easy," he said under his breath.

"Why?"

"Because who says love is enough? I've wanted to be with her since I was a kid but it's been over a decade now and it still isn't working out. When should I just write her off and move on?"

"Well, ask yourself if the bad times outweigh the good and if so, can you see anyone else making you as happy, as crazy but in a good way," he amended with a smile, and Max let out a short laugh, "as sad, as angry and if the answers no;" he shrugged as if it was obvious, "reassess."

"It's not…"

"That easy? It is though Max. I've seen quite a few of the girls you've been with and I've never seen anyone make you reach the highs or the lows you've had with her."

Max rubbed his temple and closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on, his heart beginning to hurt.

"I'm not trying to save that relationship if it really is over but I don't think it is. You've been separated for ten years; do you really want to live the rest of your life without her?"

Max started to say something but he stopped him, "either way you go, I just want you to know I love you and I wish you the best. I just want you to stop suffering."

Max took two shaky breathes before pulling the older man into a tight hug.

"Tell me you'll consider your options and do whatever you need to do to be happy no matter what any of us may think."

He nodded into Philips neck and leaned back away from him.

"Well then go and do what you have to do."

They walked back into the dining room and took a seat, ignoring the questioning looks the rest of the people there sent them.

"Look Max…"

"Michael don't," Iz said tightly, grabbing a hold of his arm.

"I have to," he replied, shaking her off, "Don't even think of going after her. I know you two had something special once but why can't you see it's over? I can't watch you go through another make up and break up with her man. Let her go, you'll find someone else."

He was taken aback by the sudden outburst and looked around the table. The only other person confused was Philip, both women met his eyes apologetically.

"We didn't want to bring it up at your dinner," Iz said, giving Michael the side eye, "But yeah, we were talking and…"

She looked at the other two for help, "You just hurt so much when you're with her," Dianne picked up.

They all stopped talking then, looking at him for a reaction. He just stared back, taking in their advice, thinking of what Philip talked to him about in the bathroom, trying to answer those questions and it all came up the same.

Liz.

It was all about her for him, it always had been and it seemed like it always would be no matter how much he might wish otherwise. He took a breath and sat back in his seat. Letting the inevitable wash over him and said "I hurt her too."

They tried to talk but he kept going, "We've been trying to punish one another for so long and hurting ourselves in the process," he sighed, "but I think I'm ready to stop now."

They all looked at him with open mouths, "Yeah it's hard," he put down his fork, "Maybe too hard, and it hasn't worked out with us more than it has and maybe it's stupid but I love her and I can't let her go," he cleared his throat and corrected lowly. "I won't let her go."

There was a dead quiet then everyone started talking at once. Everyone except Philip who only smiled gently and gave a slight nod as Max stood and made his way to the door. Stepping through it without a backwards glance.


	18. Part Eighteen

_Author's Note: This chapter contains Adult Content._

* * *

"_Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." -Peter Ustinov_

**Part Eighteen**

**

* * *

**

He'd searched for her outside of Dizzies: but she was a fast mover and was gone before he could catch her, at Maria's: ignoring her screeching and threats, at his own place: though he couldn't imagine why she would go there and he was right because she hadn't. He leaned against the wood door and took a breath, considering calling the search off for tonight. He ran a hand through his hair and briefly wondered if he should call and see where his family was before deciding against it. They were all adults and could make their way to the hotel on their own.

The last thing he wanted was to hear about how he and Liz didn't belong together.

Max sighed and looked around his quiet apartment.

His quiet, dark, empty apartment and he felt his heart clench. Took a deep breath and walked back out of the door quickly, descended the stairs, and burst out onto the street. He looked both directions, didn't really have anywhere to be or anywhere to go but he knew he had to get out of here and so he just turned in a direction and…walked.

Walked until he started to sweat, until it started to get dark, until his feet began to hurt and when he finally looked up from the pavement he came to face to face with wide glass doors with the word 'Pfizer' etched into them. He took a breath, and moved closer to the window, put his hands around his eyes so he could get a better look through the glass and saw someone sitting in the green space he'd helped to build.

There was no reason for him to believe it was her, he could barely see, but something made him push through the doors and walk into the lobby slowly.

"Hey Max," Davis, the night guard said with a smile. "I haven't seen you in a while."

He tore his away from the green space and smiled back slightly, "yeah, I've been a little busy with school and all."

"That makes sense. It's good to see you though."

Max nodded and took a breath, moved forward without a thought, like a moth to a flame. He went across the lobby and out into the yard, closing the door quietly behind him and just…looked at her. It felt like it had been ages since the last time they'd been alone.

He wanted to savor it.

He wanted to remember how she looked right at this moment when there was still hope, before anything bad was said, before one of them could break the others heart.

Again.

She looked…

"I didn't know you'd be there," she said suddenly, startling him but not turning to look at him. "I thought you'd go to a nicer place since your family was here."

He thought for a moment, "We made plans to go there before…"

"Yeah we did," she cut in snippily. "Why'd you show up if you thought I might be there?"

"Why'd you show up," he asked, mimicking her tone before he stopped, took a deep breath and a step back, trying to not let this disintegrate into a shouting match. He looked at the back of her head, and, felt himself calm down as he took a seat next to her.

She jerked slightly in surprise at his proximity and he raised his hand, intending to lay it against the ridges of her spine. He let it hang in the air for a moment before dropping it back into his lap.

He didn't have the right to touch her without permission anymore.

"Don't answer that," he amended quickly, when he heard her about to speak, "I already know."

The air felt very still, "You do?"

"The same reason I did."

She finally turned toward him slowly then, looking a little suspicious, "Why?"

"Why do you think?"

She didn't say anything and he started to get worried, looked down at his lap and asked quietly "You wanted to see me?"

She was still quiet, "That's why you went to the diner right? Because you thought I might go there?"

She moved her hair from her face, looking thoughtful, "Honestly, I just kind of wandered there without thinking about it. I remember leaving after you got your diploma and…"

"You were at my graduation?"

She stopped and he could see, even in the darkness, even in the shade provided by a tree he'd put in the ground himself, her begin to blush slightly. "I couldn't not go when I know how important it was to you."

"I wanted you to be there."

"You said you didn't."

"I lied."

She shook her head and looked away again, unconsciously twirling his ring around her finger, "You can't do this."

"What," he asked, genuinely confused. "Want to see you?"

"Yes! You can't come and see me when you've been telling me that you need space," she said loudly but somehow still quietly, "It…" she struggled to find the right words, "confuses me."

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "_I_ was confused! I wanted to punish you and for a little while that took over everything else but that's over now." He took her shoulder and turned it until she finally turned toward him though she still wouldn't look up.

"I love you and nothing is worth spending one more minute apart."

"Max…," her voice was shaking and he grabbed her shoulders.

"I'm sorry."

She finally looked up then on a breath, "No I'm sorry," she said quickly, shoving her face into his neck and pulling him close.

"I wanted to tell you about Culling but…"

"Don't worry about it," he cut in, "I was mad and I'm still mad that you kept that from me but I can get over it." she squeezed his shoulder and let out a tear filled moan. "I _will_ get over it because the only other course of action is to leave and that's not even possible for me."

"But…"

"I tried to let you go," he said softly, "but I was sick over you. I couldn't…"

"I couldn't without you either," she said pulling back and even through her eyes and nose were red, her mascara was running and she was sniffling, he'd never seen her smile so big. "I was totally stalking you while we were seperated," she said on a laugh.

He smiled at that, "I know."

"I just wanted you to know that I loved you no matter what."

"I knew that Liz," he said, smile slipping, "no matter what, I never forgot that and I know that you did what you did because you thought it was right. That's the only reason either of us has ever done anything to eachother. Because we thought it was right."

"Because we loved each other," she added quietly, running her hand along his jaw, moving in close.

"We still do, and we always will," he finished and touched her lips with his own gently, for a fleeting moment, before moving away again.

"Max," Liz said softly and he _knew_ what that voice meant. No matter how long it had been, he could never forget.

"Kiss me…"

He looked at her then, eyes closed, face tilted, waiting for him and all he had to do was lean in and take what she was offering. Take what he had been missing but he moved back instead. She opened her eyes after a moment.

"What is it?"

He pushed her hair back with a smile and ignored everything in him that was screaming for him to kiss her, to take her home…he stopped, refusing to finish that train of thought, "Nothing."

"But…"

"I just think maybe we should hold off on all of that for a little while."

She narrowed her eyes, "you don't want to…"

"Oh I definitely want to," he said quickly. "I just think it would be better to do this all the way if we're going to do it."

"Do what?"

"Let's go on a date," he said suddenly.

She looked slightly confused at the change of subject but went along. "I thought you didn't want to."

"I just said that 'cause I was mad but you were right. We should go on a date."

She smiled bashfully, sort of confused but almost catching on, "Where?"

"The Met, you've never been right?"

She nodded.

"Well then I want to take you."

She smiled at him and slowly said, "Okay," like he had made her feel like that 17 year old girl he'd known again and his heart leapt.

"So you want to start over then?"

He smiled and helped her stand, "the right way this time."

She took a breath and started pulling on their engagement ring.

"What are you…"

She struggled with it for a second before putting her mouth on it to try and slick the way and after a moment it finally pulled free. She tried to hand it to him but he backed away. "No Liz, I want you to keep it."

"I don't want this ring until we're going to get married again," she said with purpose. "I don't want it until you're ready to put it back on my finger."

He put out his open palm and she placed it in the center, closing her own hand over his. They stood there, looking at one another for a moment before making their way through the door and into the lobby. They waved goodbye to Davis without looking away from each other and pushed through the door out onto the street. They stood on the curb for a moment and decided to take separate cabs, not totally trusting themselves to stay the course. He let her take the first one, giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek before he caught his own home and half hour later he walked in the door with a stupid grin. He glanced at the phone and finally pulled out his cell to if his family had called.

They had.

12 times to be exact.

He groaned and only hesitated twice before calling them back. Isabel picked up.

"How's the hotel?"

She didn't say anything for a second and he heard the distinct sound of a door closing, "Are you alright? We've been calling you all day!"

"I was out."

"Looking for Liz?"

"Okay," he said with some force, "don't say her name like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're over it! Like I'm stupid!"

"Max I…"

"I'm serious Iz," he said lowly, "we're going to be together whether you guys like it or not and you're going to respect her."

"This is ridiculous!"

"Maybe it is, but I love her and I don't want anything like what happened today to happen again got it?"

She sighed, sounded like she wanted to say something else but ended up going with, "Yeah, okay."

"Good. Make sure you tell the others and," he took a breath, "I love you."

"I love you too Max."

"I know," he said gently, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He flipped the phone closed and went into his room to take a quick shower. He threw on some boxer shorts and grabbed the jeans he'd been wearing off the floor and pulled out the ring. He looked at it for a second before opening his side table and sitting it down inside. He turned over and lay down on top of the covers due to the warm night and put his arms behind his head, thought about the date they were going to have tomorrow, looked up at the ceiling and smiled.

-0-

"I guess he found you then?"

Liz gasped and put her hand over her heart at Maria's sudden voice.

"Excuse me?"

"Max came sniffing around here earlier and from that idiotic look on your face I'm guessing he found you," she started to smile a little, "and I'm guessing it was good news."

The brunette laughed and threw herself down on the couch; her friend followed her and sat down. "Tell me what happened."

She went through every detail. Dizzies, walking, Pfizer, seeing him again…

And when she was done she looked up and saw Maria's soft smile.

"I'm happy for you Liz. You two are crazy but I really do believe you love each other and as long as you're happy, I'm happy for you."

Liz took a breath, "Thank you."

The other woman shrugged, "And I won't apologize for all that stuff I said but I will be nice."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing that need concern you," she replied with a coy smile.

Liz rolled her eyes, "You know," she said after a moment, "His family is here. I saw Michael."

"You did," and the question was so casual it couldn't have been anything but feigned.

"Yes. He and I have never really…gotten along but I know you two…"

"That was a long time ago," she said quickly, "It ended for a reason."

"But Max and I…"

"Not everyone is you two," she said forcefully but with compassion, "Him and me…we were all flash and no fire. Back then I thought that if there was no drama there was no love but I'm grown up now. I know the difference."

"Maria?"

"I'm fine," she said genuinely, "And I hope he's alright too but that's it."

Liz nodded and they hugged tightly before Maria stood and went to her bedroom door.

"I could get his number from Max though, just so you can talk," she added at Maria's pinched face.

She crossed her arms over her chest before nodding and Liz smiled.

"Alright then, goodnight."

Afterward, Liz watched some TV before she went to the bathroom to take a long bath. She threw on an old t- shirt and pulled out the couch, got under the blanket and drifted to sleep.

-0-

He was slightly underdressed when they met up, in a white t-shirt and jeans, but she looked beautiful in a purple knee length summer dress and gold sandals.

The Met was…nice.

Quiet and cold, the art was beautiful, of course, and they would talk about what they thought it meant sometimes. Other times they'd stare at it quizzically before catching the others eye with a laugh. They'd walk away then, almost touching hands.

Almost but not quite.

They left the building an hour and a half later and he stopped a passerby. "Take a picture for us?"

They nodded with a smile and he pulled Liz into his side, slinging his arm around her shoulder.

"Say cheese," their photographer said.

"Cheese!"

He blinked at the flash and Liz took a seat while he went over to get the camera and check the shot. He was happy to see his eyes were wide open in it, "Thank you."

The guy nodded, "Where are you two from?"

"Roswell, New Mexico," he said without a thought even though he'd been in New York for years.

He looked over at Liz appreciatively, said, "She's cute," and that was one of the moments when Max knew for sure he was grown up because if he was really the same Max Evans from Roswell, he would have done a lot more than follow his line of sight and say, "Yeah," with a smile.

"Well," he said, smacking his shoulder, "You two be careful and have fun."

He nodded absently, made his back over to her and showed her the photo. "What do you think?"

She narrowed her eyes and moved it until she could get a good look before she nodded, "It's nice. We don't have many pictures of us together do we?"

He shook his head, "I'm working on remedying that though."

Her face tinted red and he pulled her to her feet delighted, "Let's go for a walk."

"Alright."

They went to the park and sat around on a bench talking, about everything, about anything that popped into their heads, anything that was bothering them or that was interesting and he pushed her hair out of her face and smiled and thought about how happy he was, how much he'd been missing.

She smiled, suddenly looking sheepish, "I got something stuck in my teeth?"

"No."

"Then what are you staring at? I look exactly the same."

He shook his head, "No, it's different now isn't it?"

She looked like she wanted to say something else before her face softened, "Yeah. I guess so."

"Are you going to stay in therapy?"

The question took him slightly off guard and he didn't answer for a moment, "Yes."

"With Dr. Culling?"

"No, and I don't want you to either. I don't trust him."

She nodded, "Yeah, I think we should probably just start fresh."

They looked at one another before she smiled slightly and leaned forward, "Kiss me."

"Liz…"

She didn't wait to hear what he had to say; just leaned forward and met his lips with her own, added pressure incrementally until he slipped his hand around her neck, pulled her closer, let her slip her tongue into his mouth before he followed suit, kept going until he couldn't breathe and pulled away gently on a gasp.

She licked her lips, "Let's go get something to eat. On me."

"No…"

"On me," she said, grabbing the front of his shirt with a smile and he relented. "Alright."

-0-

They went to nice little family place nearby with fantastic food and after a long argument she walked him home, promising she'd catch a cab outside his door and that it was stupid for him to bring her all the way to her place when he lived so close.

They stopped outside his door and she looked around, "You going to invite me up for a nightcap?"

He hesitated.

"Come on Max. We're adults."

He nodded, "Yeah you're right. Come on up."

* * *

_No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't quite catch his breath, couldn't quite keep her in his grip._

"_Slow…slow down a little," but she wasn't listening. He looked up at her through slanted eyes and wondered absently if she had planned this all along or if it was something that just happened._

_

* * *

_

"You want me to make the coffee?"

"No, I want to make it."

He nodded and sat down, stopped the nervous jiggling of his knee when he noticed it. She came back a moment later and sat down next to him. "I put the pot on and it'll be ready soon."

They sat tensely and she looked around, "The apartment still looks good."

"You haven't been gone that long."

"No. But I thought you might have thrown everything out in a fit or something."

"I considered it."

She laughed and folded one leg underneath herself, got comfortable, "Wanna take me on a tour then?"

"You lived here. You know every nook and cranny of this place."

"Humor me."

He looked at her and shrugged, "if you want to."

She popped up, "Alright, let's go."

He swung his arm and showed her the living room, led her to the kitchen, "This was built in 1972, in case you couldn't tell from the beautiful dropped ceiling and fluorescent lighting."

Liz laughed and leaned against the wall, "Is that it?"

"Well this is New York."

She nodded and folded her arms across her chest, "What about the bedroom?"

* * *

_It took three tries before he was able to get a sure enough grasp on her hips to reverse their positions and now they were moving slower, deeper, and she was breathing so hard, grasping onto his back, moaning, eyes shut tight._

_It felt like it had been…forever since the last time he'd seen her like this, been able to bend one of her legs at the knee, flatten it against the bed. Since he'd been able to put the other one across his shoulder, hear her moan so loud it almost sounded like a shriek._

_

* * *

_

"Well I know you don't need to see that room."

"I want to though."

"Liz…"

She stepped into his space with a determined look, "I want to see the bedroom."

And he'd never really been able to say no to her so he took her hand in his and led her to the bedroom. When she kissed him, he kissed back, let her pull off his shirt, unbutton his pants, reached out and pulled off her dress, unhooked her bra and now here they were.

"_Max_…"

She whined and he came back into the moment with a thud, moaned and pulled her close. "Liz…"

She put her hands flat on the head board and grimaced a little. It was time to finish this. He let his hand slick down her arms, over the curve of her breast and onto the hot flesh between them and she let the headboard go, pulled him closer and groaned.

He smiled into her neck, bit down gently against the tendon he found there, felt her flex against him and moan lowly. He started moving faster than, trying to catch up with her and felt it start quickly, spread outward from there and she held him close as he panted afterward.

"Aren't you happy you showed me your bedroom?"

He laughed, "You know," he said, "I had big plans for how I wanted this happen."

"Big plans like what?"

"Like for starters, it wasn't going to happen for at least a week. Maybe a week _and a half_ at the most."

She laughed and he startled her with a sudden move to the side. She watched him dig through his side drawer and pull her ring out.

She took a breath, "Max…"

"...And this," he said, brandishing it before her eyes, "I wasn't going to give this back to you until at least 2 weeks into it."

"Max?"

"I love you."

"I love you too but I don't want you to think I did this so..."

"Liz," he said gently, still trying to catch his breath. "I wanted to and so did you."

"But…"

"It's not like it was before. We aren't like we were back then."

She raised her head, smiled a little, "You say that like it was years ago."

"Might as well have been."

"Max I…"

"I want to marry you and I know we have issues to work out so it can be a long engagement."

She smiled wide and covered her face, tearing up, giving in, "This is crazy."

"We're crazy."

She laughed and he grabbed her left hand, "Are we going to do this?"

"Yes," she replied after a moment, "We are going to do this."

He smiled back and grabbed her left hand, "Elizabeth Parker. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "I will marry you, Maxwell Evans."

He moved to put the ring on her hand, remembered how she'd struggled to pull it off the first time and put the digit in his mouth, watched her eyes go all vague and hazy, before letting it slip free.

"I love you," she said lowly.

"I love you too, no matter what," he whispered and slid the ring on, let it hit home.

* * *

_-Thanks for reading and please take a minute to reply. It would make my day. :)_

**Begun: June 17, 2008  
Completed: March 23, 2009**


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